JEALOUSY & ENVIOUSNESS

ਜਿਸੁ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਤਾਤਿ ਪਰਾਈ ਹੋਵੈ ਤਿਸ ਦਾ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਹੋਵੀ ਭਲਾ ॥:
Jisu andari taati paraaee hovai tis daa kade n hovee bhalaa (sggs 308).
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Man's instinctive mind is stained by the filth of evil instincts - jealousy or enviousness is one of them . It is responsible for causing more sufferings and miseries to people than any bodily diseases, without achieving anything. How's so? One who is jealous or envious of others wealth, success, qualifications, beauty, strength, prosperity, etc., feels painful and resentful at their betterment, and would feel happy only when some miseries befall on them. Along all other demoniac instincts, this instinct of jealously is also born of the false ego-sense (Haume). It is this false ego that gets hurt upon seeing others enjoying an advantage. This character weakness stems from feelings of inferiority, anger, fear, insecurity, inadequacy, helplessness, and a limited view of one's True Self (Joti-Svaroopa).
  • ਅਤਿ ਡਾਹਪਣਿ ਦੁਖੁ ਘਣੋ ਤੀਨੇ ਥਾਵ ਭਰੀਡੁ ॥੧॥: Ati daahapani dukhu ghano teene thaav bhareedu ||1|| (sggs 1091).
  • ਸੁਆਦ ਬਾਦ ਈਰਖ ਮਦ ਮਾਇਆ ॥ ਇਨ ਸੰਗਿ ਲਾਗਿ ਰਤਨ ਜਨਮੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥੩॥: Suaad baad eerakh mad Maya. In sang laag ratan janam gavaaiaa ||3|| (sggs 741).
  • ਡਾਹਪਣਿ ਤਨਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਨਹੀ ਬਿਨੁ ਡਰ ਬਿਣਠੀ ਡਾਰ ॥: Daahapani tani sukhu nahee binu dar binathee daar (sggs 933).
Jealous persons are often resentful. Hence jealousy is the root cause of conflicts between individuals, groups, religions, communities, and countries. It grows in one's mind by stages and ultimately turns into hatred, which burns his entire life and leads to his downfall. Thus, it ends up in calamities and destruction. One in jealousy always plans to pull down the other. Inflicted with such envy, people do not hesitate wounding the sentiments of others by ridiculing their behavior or uttering harsh words (ill speaking, badmouthing, gossiping, backbiting, etc.).

As the Gurbani reminds us, those who posses this evil instinct are not austere or spiritual, even though they may pretend to be as such. Accordingly, jealous individuals remain uninterested in sincere Shabad-Vichaar, etc. As indicated in the SGGS (Sri Guru Granth Sahib), such persons render themselves unfit for gaining Spiritual Knowledge for they cannot understand it. As a result, they become unfit for Self-Realization.

  • ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਦ ਮਤਸਰ ਇਨ ਪੰਚਹੁ ਮਿਲਿ ਲੂਟੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥: Kaam krodh Maya mad matasar in panchahu mili loote ||1||Rahaaou|| (sggs 974).
  • ਜਗਿ ਹਉਮੈ ਮੈਲੁ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਮਲੁ ਲਾਗੀ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ॥: Jagi haumai mailu dukhu paaiaa malu laagee doojai bhaai (sggs 39).
  • ਅਹਿਰਖ ਵਾਦੁ ਨ ਕੀਜੈ ਰੇ ਮਨ ॥: Ahirakh vaadu n keejai re mann (sggs 479).
Unfortunately, most of us end up listening to the Gurbani from such unfit people at organized religious places such as Gurdawaras, temples, churches, mosques, and so on. The result is as the saying goes: "blind leads blind".

We are told in the Gurbani that the Soul is made in the Pure Image of God (Joti-Svaroopa). "Then how does one end up acquiring filthy instincts such as jealousy?", one may ask! Because ignorance born false ego-sense has intervened. This unripe ego, being the offspring of the false Maya (Cosmic delusion), is also false. As the Gurbani tells us, Maya is like a fly who always likes to sit on a filthy object. Likewise, the deluded mind also likes to dwell on filthy thoughts. As we sink more and more in the marsh of deceptive Maya (illusion), our mind becomes more and more "filthy" or deluded. Thus, we keep accumulating the "filth" for countless incarnations.

  • ਹੰਉਮੈ ਮਾਇਆ ਮੈਲੁ ਹੈ ਮਾਇਆ ਮੈਲੁ ਭਰੀਜੈ ਰਾਮ ॥: Haumai Maya mailu hai Maya mailu bhareejai Raam (sggs 570).
  • ਜਨਮ ਜਨਮ ਕੀ ਇਸੁ ਮਨ ਕਉ ਮਲੁ ਲਾਗੀ ਕਾਲਾ ਹੋਆ ਸਿਆਹੁ ॥: Janam Janam kee isu mann kaou malu laagee kaalaa hoaa siaahu (sggs 651).
  • ਕਾਇਆ ਕੁਸੁਧ ਹਉਮੈ ਮਲੁ ਲਾਈ ॥: Kaaiaa kasudh houmai malu laaee (sggs 1045).
Effects of Jealousy and Enviousness

The instinct of jealousy is like a serpent's venom. It is capable of agitating our consciousness and cast many shadows over clarity of perception for long segments of time. It pollutes our minds and corrupts our intellect with ill-will. Also, it destroys our body, nature, and personality. The body, mind and intellect of a person with such malicious instinct become nothing more than a "trash basket". As a result, we:

  • Want to destroy others;
  • Look for faults in others; and never see their good qualities;
  • Think ourselves faultless; we disown our own faults and elude responsibility for such faults and throws it on others;
  • Continuously burn inside upon seeing others enjoy advantage, and become like a half-burnt wooden log;
  • Become irritable and unpleasant;
  • Shoot nonsense from our mouth; criticize and argue with others;
  • Remain ever ready to fight and explode into red rash;
  • Become doubt ridden;
  • Hate others;
  • Feel insecure in the outside world;
  • Feel lonely, friendless, unaffectionate, unenthusiastic, without self-esteem, courage less, and so on;
  • Become mindward (Manmukh) or materialistic; consequently, we lack divine attributes such as truth, contentment, knowledge, love, forgiveness, sacrifice, mental and bodily control, faith in God and scriptures, selfless service, etc.;
  • Don't think good of others or wish good to others;
  • We lack vision which is all-inclusive; and so on.
Jealousy makes people mean. The Gurmukhs compare the envious ridden person to a "sanitary inspector". For example, a sanitary inspector generally spends his time inspecting filth or trash. Similarly, the envious ridden person spends time inspecting faults in others. As a result, he becomes habitual to slandering, hating, and resenting others. Consequently, the poison of slandering and enviousness tastes sweet to him. To the contrary, the hearing of God's nectarian Name (Amrit-Naam-Aatam-Giaa...) tastes bitter and painful to him, like the stung of a scorpion.
  • ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਕਰਿ ਮਲੁ ਧੋਵੈ ਓਹੁ ਮਲਭਖੁ ਮਾਇਆਧਾਰੀ ॥: Nindaku nindaa kari malu dhovai ohu malubhakhu mayadhaaree (sggs 507).
  • ਬਿਨੁ ਸਿਮਰਨ ਜੋ ਜੀਵਨੁ ਬਲਨਾ ਸਰਪ ਜੈਸੇ ਅਰਜਾਰੀ ॥: Binu simaran jo jeevanu balanaa sarap jaise arajaaree (sggs 712).
  • ਸਪੁ ਪਿੜਾਈ ਪਾਈਐ ਬਿਖੁ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਰੋਸੁ ॥: Sapu pirraaee paaeeai bikhu antari mani rosu (sggs 1009).
  • ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਕਉਰਾ ਬਿਖਿਆ ਮੀਠੀ ॥ ਸਾਕਤ ਕੀ ਬਿਧਿ ਨੈਨਹੁ ਡੀਠੀ ॥ ਕੂੜਿ ਕਪਟਿ ਅਹੰਕਾਰਿ ਰੀਝਾਨਾ ॥ ਨਾਮੁ ਸੁਨਤ ਜਨੁ ਬਿਛੂਅ ਡਸਾਨਾ ॥੨॥ ਮਾਇਆ ਕਾਰਣਿ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਝੂਰੈ ॥ ਮਨਿ ਮੁਖਿ ਕਬਹਿ ਨ ਉਸਤਤਿ ਕਰੈ ॥: Amritu kauraa bikhiaa meethee ... (sggs 892-893).
Preoccupation with retaliatory jealousy or enviousness can also be likened to an "allergy". Just as allergies become active in the allergy season, similarly, the allergy of evil instincts also become active as soon as we see those for whom we hold malice and hate in our mind! Thus jealousy — along with fear, insecurity, and anger — in a way is a protective mechanism of the conditioned mind.

Such as cancer is a bodily disease, similarly the evil instincts are the disease of our the conditioned mind. However, the bodily diseases finish with the death of the body, but the mindl's diseases do not, until they are roasted in the fire of the Divine Knowledge (Aatam-Giaan, Bibek-Budhi of the Gurbani ).

  • ਛਾਡਿ ਵਿਡਾਣੀ ਤਾਤਿ ਮੂੜੇ ॥ ਈਹਾ ਬਸਨਾ ਰਾਤਿ ਮੂੜੇ ॥: Shaadi vidaanee taati moorre. Eehaa basanaa raati moorre(sggs 889).
  • ਛੋਡਿਹੁ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਤਾਤਿ ਪਰਾਈ ॥: Shodihu nindaa taati paraaee (sggs 1026).
  • ਗਿਆਨੁ ਭਇਆ ਤਹ ਕਰਮਹ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੩॥: Giaanu bhaiaa tah karmah naasu ||3||: With the Divine Knowledge (ਉੱਚ-ਜੀਵਨ ਦੀ ਸੂਝ) ends the deeds (Mayaic efforts) ||3|| (sggs 1167).
Cure

As we can see, the instinctive emotion such as jealousy is a deadly disease of theworldly mind as it blights one's peace and throws him into hellish existence. When turned active, it makes people aggressive, deceitful, and treacherous. In other words, it is a royal path to a complete destruction of the mind, body, and intellect. How can this blot be removed from our mind? How can we cure ourselves from such vicious instinct? The Gurbani shows us the way out as follows:

  • Become a Gurmukh (Spiritual Being...)
  • Associate with those souls who possess saintly qualities.
  • Practice humility.
  • Do not consider yourself faultless and others full of faults.
  • Engage in Shabad-Vichaar; for to live without such Simran is like burning in fire, even though, one may live long life as a serpent.
  • Do good to those who are evil persons without harboring wrath in mind for them.
  • Share good qualities of others, ignore their faults.
  • Develop and accumulate Divine attributes
  • Perform introspection on a daily basis.
  • Think others as friends, not enemies.
  • Disassociate from slanderers, and do not slander others.
  • Engage in selfless devotional service.
  • Purify the soul by Associating with the Gurmukhs.
  • not turn around and hurt those who have hurt you. Why do evil deeds for which one has to suffer for?
  • Be aware that we can not hide anything from the Lord.
  • Analyze your own-self, do not get angry with others
  • To avoid troubles, do not harbor evil to others in your mind.
  • Forgive and forget.
  • Love all. God is realized by those who love every one.
  • Follow the instructions of scriptures. Proper understanding will help in throwing of the curtain of ignorance, and in forgetting to be jealous.>
  • Be righteous, and truly content; purify thoughts, and awaken compassion within; this will quell jealousy, anger, fear, and insecurity.
With control over the mind (thinning of the false ego-sense, Haume, illusion, etc.) the force fields of jealousy, envy, emotional attachment, resentment, selfishness, hostility and passion stand shattered. When such expanded consciousness is maintained, it frees us slowly but surely from ever again falling in the magnetic pull of such negative tendencies.
  • ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਵੈਰ ਵਿਰੋਧ ਗਵਾਵੈ ॥: Gurmukhi vair virodh gavaavai (sggs 942).
  • ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਲੋਭ ਮਦ ਮਤਸਰ ਇਹ ਅਰਪਿ ਸਗਲ ਦਾਨੁ ਕੀਨਾ ॥: Kaam krodh lobh mada matasar ih arapi sagal daan keenaa(sggs 1210).
  • ਲਾਹਿ ਪਰਦਾ ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਜਉ ਭੇਟਿਓ ਤਉ ਬਿਸਰੀ ਤਾਤਿ ਪਰਾਈ ॥੩॥: Laahi paradaa thaakur jaou bhetiou taou bisaree taati paraaee (sggs 215).
  • ਬਿਸਰਿ ਗਈ ਸਭ ਤਾਤਿ ਪਰਾਈ ॥ ਜਬ ਤੇ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਮੋਹਿ ਪਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥: Bisari gayee sabh taati paraaee. Jab te saadhsangati mohi paaee ||1||Rahaaou|| (sggs 1299).
  • ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਮਦ ਮਤਸਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਬਿਨਸਿ ਜਾਹਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਉਚਾਰੀ ॥: Kaam krodh mada matasar trisanaa binas jaahi hari naam ouchaaree(sggs 1389).

How can one tell if he is inflicted with this mental disease? Here is a simple self-test - when others get what they wish, and we are sad, it means we are inflicted with this disease. It's a disease in the mind that eats away one's peace.

  • ਫਰੀਦਾ ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈ ਚੋਪੜੀ ਨਾ ਤਰਸਾਏ ਜੀਉ ॥੨੯॥: Fareedaa dekhi paraaee choparree naa tarasaae jeeou ||29|| (sggs 1379).
— T. Singh
www.gurbani.org