In the material sense, a woman is called Suhaagan if she is married and her worldly husband (Suhaag) is alive. To the contrary, a Duhaagan is a woman who has either become widow or has been discarded by her worldly husband. Thus, in mundane marriage, it's the woman who plays the part of either a Suhaagan or a Duhaagan, and it's the man who plays the part of her husband (or Suhaag).

As it will be revealed in the pages that lie ahead, these perishable worldly entities and relations are not the Gurbani's (Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS) Suhaagans, Duhaagans or Suhaags; for they are under the influence of Maya illusion, ignorance, delusion, false ego, false self-identity, conditionings — thus ephemeral!

• ਇਹੁ ਜਗੁ ਮਾਇਆ ਮੋਹਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਇ ॥: Ihu jag Maya mohi viaapiaa doojai bharami bhulaae: This world is engrossed in attachment to Maya; it has gone astray in duality and doubt (sggs 430).

The Gurbani's Suhaagans are pious Soul-brides; who are beyond the distinction of gender, caste (Jaat-Paat), creed, social status or religion. They consider only the Mool (Source, Origin, Jot...) as their eternal Suhaag. Since this eternal Husband never dies, these Soul-brides never become widows! "Without this True Husband, their is no True Marriage", says the Gurbani. On the other hand, all deluded, confused, material beings or conditioned souls are called Duhaagans in the Gurbani.

• ਏਕ ਸੁਹਾਗਨਿ ਜਗਤ ਪਿਆਰੀ ॥: Ek suhaagan jagat piaaree: The material world loves only the one bride, Maya (sggs 871).
• ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਕੇਵਲ ਏਕੁ ਮੁਰਾਰਿ ॥: Var paaiaa sohaaganee keval ek muraar: The happy Soul-bride obtains the One God as her Husband (sggs 428).
• ਥਿਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਨ ਪਾਇਆ ॥: Thir sohaag Nanak jan paaiaa: Servant Nanak has obtained the Eternal Sohaag (sggs 384).
• ਕਦੇ ਨ ਰਾਂਡ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਸਹਜ ਸਮਾਧੀ ॥: Kade na raand sadaa sohaagan antari sahaj samaadhee: She will never become a widow; she will always be a happy Soul-bride. Deep Within herself, she dwells in the celestial Bliss of Samaadhi (sggs 583).
• ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਨਾਰਿ ਸੁ ਸਰਬ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਰਾਂਡ ਨ ਮੈਲੈ ਵੇਸੇ ॥: Har kee naar su sarab suhaagan raand na mailai vese: God's bride is forever happy and virtuous; she will never be a widow, and she will never have to wear dirty clothes of internal filth (sggs 763).
• ਨਾਨਕ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਨਾ ਪਿਰੁ ਮਰੈ ਨ ਜਾਏ ॥: Nanak kaaman sadaa suhaagan naa pir marai na jaaeae: O Nanak, the Soul-bride is forever the Lord's favorite wife; her Husband Lord does not die, and He never abadon her (sggs 245).

With the help of the Divine Guide of the Gurbani, this Reflection will attempt to reflect on the following: The definition of a Suhaagan and a Duhaagan; signs of such Suhaagans and Duhaagans, the true Suhaag; actions that make one a true Suhaagan, decoration (Shingaar) by which a Suhaagan pleases her Beloved, and the importance of associating with the True Suhaagans (Satsang) for Spiritual Unfoldment.

Suhaagan Defined

A true Suhaagan is none other than the person called "Gurmukh" (Spiritual Being) in the Gurbani. Thus, as defined in the Gurbani, the real Suhaagans are those Spiritual Beings who have merged into the Supreme Bliss (Anand). In other words, Suhaagans are the Soul-brides who have realized the Mool (Source, Origin, Jot, Satguru, Saadh, Sajjan, Sant, etc.) within — they are situated on the platform of Transcendental Consciousness as Jeevanmukta (living liberated), their individual light has merged into the Universal Light.

• ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਪਰਗਟੁ ਹੋਇ ॥੧੯॥: Nanak te sohaaganee jinaa gurmukh paragat hoi ||19||: O Nanak, the Gurmukhs are the happy, virtuous Soul-brides; God is revealed to them ||19|| (sggs 1412).
• ਸਤੁ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਦਇਆ ਧਰਮੁ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ਬਨਾਵਉ ॥ ਸਫਲ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਅਪੁਨੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਵਉ ॥੪॥੧੫॥੪੫॥: Satt santokh daiaa dharam seegaar banaavaou. Safal suhaagan Nanakaa apne prabh bhaavaou || 4||15||45||: (O Lord, may I remain) embellished with truth, contentment, compassion and Dharmic faith. O Nanak! Spiritual marriage is fruitful, (If the soul-bride) is pleasing to her God ||4||15||45| (sggs 812).

Signs Of Suhaagans

As mentioned in the Gurbani, the signs of a true Suhaagan include, but not limited to: Truthful living, Sat Santokh (True contentment), detachment from the sense-world, steady consciousness, free from bodily limitations, victory over material world (mind), Sahaj Avasthaa (natural state of being), sweet speech, Bhaanaa or Hukam Mannanaa (abiding in God's Will), Spiritual Virtues, Naam or Shabad-Surti (God-consciousness), absorption in Bhagti, egolessness, desirelessness, serving the Transcendent (Oobhee Sevaa) or Satguru within, dependence on God (not "others"), infinite Love of God's Name, Intuitive Knowledge (Aatam-Giaan), Spiritual Joy, fascination of the Divine Glories, absence of demerits, Shabad-Vichaar, beyond pairs of "likes and dislikes", and so on.

• ਨਾਨਕ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਕਾ ਕਿਆ ਚਿਹਨੁ ਹੈ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਚੁ ਮੁਖੁ ਉਜਲਾ ਖਸਮੈ ਮਾਹਿ ਸਮਾਇ ॥: Nanak sohaagan kaa kiaa chihan hai andar sach mukh oujalaa khasmai maahi samaae: O Nanak, what is the character of the Soul-bride? Within her, is Truth; her face is radiant, and she is absorbed in her God (sggs 785).
• ਅਵਗਣ ਤਿਆਗਿ ਭਈ ਬੈਰਾਗਨਿ ਅਸਥਿਰੁ ਵਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਹਰੀ ॥: Avagan tiaag bhaee bairaagan asathhir var sohaag haree: Discarding demerits, one becomes detached; with the Lord as her Husband, her marriage is Eternal (sggs 1254).
• ਹਰਿ ਧਨੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਡੋਲਤ ਨਾਹੀ ਚੀਤ ॥: Hari dhan paaeiaa sohaagunee dolat naahee cheet: The happy soul bride has found the Wealth of God; her consciousness does not waver (sggs 929).
• ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਸਦਾ ਮੁਖੁ ਉਜਲਾ ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਭਾਇ ॥: Sohaaganee sadaa mukh oujalaa gur kai sahaj subhaai: The faces of the Soul-brides are radiant forever; through the Guru, they are peacefully poised (sggs 559).
• ਮਧੁਰ ਬਾਨੀ ਪਿਰਹਿ ਮਾਨੀ ਥਿਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਤਾ ਕਾ ਬਣਾ ॥: Madhur bani pirahi maanee thir sohaag taa kaa banaa: She has sweet speech; obeys her Beloved Lord (Hukam); her marriage is permanent and everlasting (sggs 457).
• ਭਾਗ ਮਣੀ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਮੇਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਨਾਨਕ ਹਰਿ ਉਰਿ ਧਾਰੇ ॥: Bhaag manee sohaagan maerae piaarae Nanak hari our dhaarae: The virtuous bride realizes the good fortune of her destiny, O my dear beloved; O Nanak, she enshrines God Within her Heart (sggs 451).
• ਸਬਦਿ ਰਤੀ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਭਾਇ ਪਿਆਰਿ ॥: Sabadi ratee sohaaganee satgur kai bhaae piaar: The happy Soul-bride is attuned to the Shabad; she is in love with the True Guru (sggs 90).
• ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਜਿ ਹੁਕਮੈ ਬੁਝੈ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵੈ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਏ ॥: Sadaa suhaagan ji hukmai bujhai satgur saevai liv laaeae: She is always and forever the pure Soul-bride, who realizes Hukam; she serves the True Guru, inspired by loving absorption (sggs 1423).

Duhaagan Defined

Duhaagan is none other than the person called Manmukh (material being) in the Gurbani. But who is a Manmukh? A Manmukh is an egoist being who does not understand the Naam, Shabad or the Gurbani. As a result, he (or she) does not know who he is! In other words, he is unaware of the Mool (Source, Origin, Jot...), which is ever present within. In this ignorance of the Mool, wrong notions, ideas, concepts, and precepts arise about himself as he identities with his body-mind-intellect personality. As a consequent of this confusion and doubt, he takes himself as "mortal'', "different from the Mool'', "helpless", "miserable", and "limited''. Thus, due to this fundamentally wrong self-identity, he creates separation (veil of ignorance) between himself and his Parmaatam or his Pure Being where there is none!

• ਸੇ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਜੋ ਸਬਦ ਨ ਪਛਾਨਹਿ ॥: Se manmukh jo Shabad na pachhaanahi: They alone are Manmukhs who do not realize the Shabad (sggs 1054).
• ਅੰਤਰਿ ਅਗਿਆਨ ਦੁਖੁ ਭਰਮੁ ਹੈ ਵਿਚਿ ਪੜਦਾ ਦੂਰਿ ਪਈਆਸਿ ॥: Antari agiaan dukh bharam hai vichi parhadaa doori paeeaasi: There is ignorance and pain of doubt Within, like a separating veil (of ignorance) between the man and God (sggs 40).

The Gurbani describes the state of such Duhaagans as follows: they remain separated from their Mool (Source, Origin, Jot...), they only love "another" (i.e., Maya), they suffer in the perpetual cycle of birth and death, they are deceived by the love of duality (Doojaa Bhaav), they love to perform religious rituals (mechanical reading of scriptures, external show of religion, Dhaarmic Sode-Baajee, etc.), in attachment they remain engrossed in love of the worldly objects, their sense-bent mind is unfit for realizing its Mool, and they fritter their lives away by engaging in activities unconducive to Self-unfoldment.

• ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਦਰਿ ਖੜੀਆ ਬਿਲਲਾਹਿ ॥: Manmukhi sadaa dohaaganee dari kharheeaa bilalaahi: The Manmukhs are forever forsaken brides; they cry out and bewail at the Lord's Gate (sggs 428).
• ਮਨਮੁਖੀ ਦੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਨਾਹਿ ਭੇਉ ॥: Manmukhee duhaagan naahi bhaeo: The Manmukhs, suffering in separation, do not understand the mystery of God (sggs 1170).
• ਨਮੁਖੀਆ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਆਵਣ ਜਾਣਿ ਮੁਈਆਸੁ ॥: Manmukheeaa dohaaganee aavan jaan mueeaas: Manmukhs are Duhaagans, ruined by coming and going in the cycle of reincarnation (sggs 1416).
• ਮਨਮੁਖ ਕਰਮ ਕਮਾਵਣੇ ਜਿਉ ਦੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਤਨਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥: Manmukh karam kamaavanae jio dohaagan tani seegaar: The Manmukh performs religious rituals, like the unwanted bride decorating her body (sggs 31).

Signs Of Duhaagans

The signs of a Duhaagan are opposite to that of a Suhaagan! Described throughout the Gurbani, the signs of a Duhaagan include: instead of seeking the Truth they wander around chasing mirage-like appearance of the world, their bodily senses and internal subtle equipment are conditioned, they always find themselves miserable and in agony, they seek permanent joy in impermanent things, they are devoid of goodness, they are not adorned with Shabad-Vichaar or Naam-Simran, they are unaware that the Lord's Mahal (Abode or Presence) is within, beings false they tell lies and eat the poison of corruption and falsehood, they lack noble Virtues, they have no taste for Spirituality, they have no interest in Transcendental Knowledge, they are deluded by doubt, they like material wealth and power, they will do anything to become leaders, they practice showoff religion, they are ritualistic, they take pride in their religious garbs, and they claim their religion or book or Prophet to be better than others. In short, they are ego-beings.

• ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਕਿਆ ਨੀਸਾਣੀਆ ..: Dhhaaganee kiaa neesaaneeaa: What are the signs of Duhaagans? They miss their Husband Lord, and they wander around in dishonor. The clothes (senses, mind, intellect, consciousness, etc.) of those brides are filthy—they pass their life-night in agony (sggs 72).
• ਪਰਤਾਪੁ ਲਗਾ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਭਾਗ ਜਿਨਾ ਕੇ ਨਾਹਿ ਜੀਉ ॥: Parataap lagaa dohaaganee bhaag jinaa kae naahi jeeo: The discarded brides suffer in terrible agony; they have no luck at all (sggs 72).
• ਸਭੇ ਕੰਤੈ ਰਤੀਆ ਮੈ ਦੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਕਿਤੁ ॥: Sabhae kantai rateeaa mai dohaagan kitu: All are imbued with love for their Husband Lord; I am a discarded bride - what good am I? (sggs 790).
• ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਦੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਛੂਟੀ ਝੂਠਿ ਵਿਛੁੰਨਿਆ ॥: Nanak naam binaa dohaagan shhoottee jhoothi vishhunniaa: O Nanak, without the Naam, you will end up as a discarded bride; your own falsehood will separate you from God (sggs 689).
• ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਖਰੀਆ ਬਿਲਲਾਦੀਆ ਤਿਨਾ ਮਹਲੁ ਨ ਪਾਇ ॥: Dohaaganee khareeaa bilalaadeeaa tinaa mahalu na paae: The abandoned brides cry out in their suffering; they do not attain the Mansion of God's Presence Within (sggs 559).
• ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਪਿਰ ਕੀ ਸਾਰ ਨ ਜਾਣਹੀ ਕਿਆ ਕਰਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥: Dohaaganee pir kee saar n jaanahee kiaa kar karahi seegaar: The forsaken brides do not know the value of their Husband Lord; how can they decorate themselves? (sggs 430).
• ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਈਆ ਕੂੜੁ ਬੋਲਿ ਬਿਖੁ ਖਾਹਿ ॥: Dohaaganee bharam bhulaaeeaa koorh bol bikh khaahi: The forsaken brides wander around, deluded by doubt; telling lies, they eat poison (sggs  428).

Actions That Make One A Suhaagan

To become a true Suhaagan, the Gurbani urges us to adopt the Way of a Gurmukh. As discussed earlier, a Gurmukh is a person in Divine Consciousness. He is a Spiritual Being who has internally surrendered his false ego and related falsehood at the alter of the the Mool within, without which no Soul-bride is qualified for linking with her Pure Being.

• ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਪਰਗਟੁ ਹੋਇ ॥੧੯॥: Nanak te sohaaganee jinhaa gurmukhi paragatu hoi: O Nanak! They are Suhaagan, by becoming the Gurmukh within whom (the Lord) is revealed (sggs 1412).
• ਨਾਨਕ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਜਪਿ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਧਨੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਸਚੁ ਸਹੀ ॥੪॥੨॥: Nanak Raam Naamu japi gurmukhi dhanu suhaagani sachu sahee ||4||2||: O Nanak! By becoming the Gurmukh through understanding the Naam (ਸਚ ਦਾ ਗਿਆਨ, Aatam-Giaan, or Divinine Knowledge of the Truth understood from the Gurbani...); (that soul-bride) is accepted as the Suhaagan (of the Eternal Lord: ਸਦਾ-ਥਿਰ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਉਸ ਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗ ਬਣ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ) ||4||2|| (sggs 1254).
• ਗੁਰਮੁਖੀਆ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਤਿਨ ਦਇਆ ਪਈ ਮਨਿ ਆਇ ॥: Gurmukheeaa sohaaganee tin dhaeiaa pee man aae: The Gurmukhs are the Suhaagan; their minds are filled with kindness (sggs  41).
• ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਪਿਰੁ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਉਰ ਧਾਰਿ ॥: Gurmukh sadaa sohaaganee pir raakhiaa ur dhhaar: The Gurmukh is the Suhaagan forever. She keeps her Husband Lord enshrined Within her Heart (sggs 31).
• ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਰਵਹਿ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਸੋ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਸੇਜ ਭਤਾਰੁ ॥: Gurmukh ravehi sohaaganee so prabh saej bhataar (sggs 21).
• ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਸੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਭਰਤਾਰੁ ॥: Nanak gurmukh sadaa suhaaganee jis avinaasee purakh bharataar (sggs 786).
• ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗੁ ਸੁਹਾਗਣੀ ਜੇ ਚਲਹਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਭਾਇ ॥: Sadaa suhaag suhaaganee jae chalehi satgur bhaae: The hSuhaagan is always with her Husband Lord, if she walks in harmony with the Will of the Satgur (sggs 66).

Now, to become a Gurmukh, what Spiritual qualities are must? As repeatedly mentioned in the Gurbani, these Spiritual qualities include, but not limited to: discriminating intellect(Viveka Budhi), detachment(Bairaag), love and compassion for all living beings (Daya), Self-knowledge (Aatam-Giaan), selfless service (Sevaa), meditation on God or Naam, truthful living, goodness, fearlessness, mental steadfastness, tranquility, supreme magnanimity, true humility, contentment, sweetness of speech, unselfishness, relinquishment, pure vision, intuitively balanced consciousness, immutability, freedom from craving (Vaasnaas or latent tendencies) for sense gratification, obedience, pure devotion, kindness, sympathy, charity, peace, Spiritual-Joy, Shabad-Surti or Naam consciousness, forgiveness, nonviolence, unshakable faith, equanimity, self-discipline, righteousness, endurance, poise, patience, physical-control, mental control, inner purity, highest standard of moral and character, God-centered activities, seeing One Cosmic Unity in everything, living by God's Hukam (Will),friendliness to all; blissfulness; one-pointedness; lustrousness; undivided consciousness; non-perversity, and so on. These are the natural, non-intentional, and spontaneous qualities of a person who is established in the Self within; for he is free of those practices that breed miseries, anxiety, anguish and self-limitations. This is the way to meet your Husband Lord", says the Gurbani.

• ਇਨ ਬਿਧਿ ਹਰਿ ਮਿਲੀਐ ਵਰ ਕਾਮਨਿ ਧਨ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਪਿਆਰੀ ..: Ein bidh har mileeai var kaaman dhann sohaag piaaree..: This is the way to meet your Husband Lord. Blessed is the soul-bride who is loved by her Husband Lord.  Blessed is the soul-bride who is loved by her Husband Lord. Social class and status, race, ancestry and skepticism are eliminated, following the Guru’s Teachings and contemplating the Word of the Shabad.  One whose mind is pleased and appeased, has no egotistical pride. Violence and greed are forgotten. The soul-bride intuitively ravishes and enjoys her Husband Lord; by becoming a Gurmukh, she is embellished by His Love. Burn away any love of family and relatives, which increases your attachment to Maya. One who does not savor the Lord’s Love deep Within, lives in duality and corruption. His Love is a priceless jewel deep within my being; the Lover of my Beloved is not hidden. O Nanak, as Gurmukh, enshrine the Priceless Naam deep within your being, all the ages through (sggs 1198).
• ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਕਿਆ ਕਰਮੁ ਕਮਾਇਆ ..: Sohaaganee kiaa karam kamaaeiaa: What actions have the happy Soul-brides performed? They have obtained the fruit of their pre-ordained destiny. Casting His Glance of Grace, God unites them with Himself. Those, whom God causes to abide by His Will, have the Shabad (Naam) abiding deep within. They are the true Suhaagan, who embrace love for their God-Husband (sggs 72).

To enjoy conjugal pleasures with their worldly husbands, newly wedded brides decorate themselves with different adornments (Shingaar) in hope to rouse their husband's mind with lust and passion. Beds are made of fragrant flowers. Amidst the sounds of bangles and ankle-bells, they ascend to this bed and consummate their wedding. Immersed in their sensuous play, they even become oblivious of their surroundings.

Similarly, for attracting her Husband Lord, a pious Soul-bride also decorates herself. However, her Shingaar is totally different than that of a worldly bride! The Gurbani reveals the details of this Sublime Shingaar to us as follows:

• ਮੈ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਕੰਤੁ ਕਰਤਾਰੁ ॥ ਜੇਹਾ ਕਰਾਏ ਤੇਹਾ ਕਰੀ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥੧॥: Mai kaaman meraa kant kartaar. Jehaa karaae tehaa karee seegaar: I am woman (soul-bride); the Creator is my Husband. (I) adorn (myself) to His liking. ||1|| (sggs 1128).
• ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਭੈ ਭਗਤਿ ਸੀਗਾਰਿ ॥: Gurmukh sadaa sohaaganee bhai bhati seegaar: The Gurmukh is forever the true Soul-bride; she adorns herself with the fear of God and devotion to Him (sggs 428).
• ਸਚਿ ਰਤੀਆ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨਾ ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਸੀਗਾਰਿ ॥: Sach rateaaa sohaaganee jinaa gur kai sabad seegaar: The happy Soul-brides are imbued with Truth; they are adorned with the Guru's Shabad (sggs 427).
• ਮਿਠਾ ਬੋਲਹਿ ਨਿਵਿ ਚਲਹਿ ਸੇਜੈ ਰਵੈ ਭਤਾਰੁ ॥: Mithaa bolahi nivi chalahi saejai ravai bhataar: Her speech is sweet, and her way of life is humble. She enjoys the Bed of her Husband Lord (sggs 31).

Attracted to such irresistible Transcendental Shingaar, the Eternal Suhaag (Mool...) joins His Soul-bride and enjoys her day and night! This Divine Union is called by many names such as Amrit (Immortality), Liberation (Mukti), Self-realization, Enlightenment, opening of the Tenth Gate (Dasam Duaar), attainment of Chauthaa Pada (fourth state or Turiyaa Avasthaa), awakening of the True Guru or Saadh within, Spiritual Knowledge, Samaadhi, Love, Joy, Peace, Bliss (Anand), Spiritual Perfection, and so on.

• ਨਾਨਕ ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਰਾਵੈ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮੁ ਹਰਿ ਵਰੁ ਥਿਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗੋ ॥: Nanak ahinis raavai preetam hari var thir sohaago: O Nanak, day and night, my Beloved remains with me; with the Lord as my Husband, my Divine Marriage is Eternal (sggs 1110).
• ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅੰਤਰਜਾਮੀ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਨ ਟਲਿਆ ॥: Var paaeiaa prabh an(mee Nanak sohaag na talliaa: I have obtained God, the Inner-knower, as my Husband; O Nanak, my Divine Marriage is permanent (sggs 249).
• ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਾ ਕੇ ਪੂਰੇ ਭਾਗ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਅਸਥਿਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ॥: Kahu Nanak jaa ke poore bhaag. Hari Hari naam asathir sohaag: O Nanak, the truely fortunate one meditates on the Divine Name of the Everlasting Husband (sggs 201).

However, prior to applying this Transcendental Shingaar, there is a prerequisite that must be met. That prerequisite is as follows: surrendering of one's egoism and related falsehood, and acceptance of Divine Hukam or Word (Gurmat or God's Teaching). Application of sublime Shingaar before satisfying this prerequisite would be like placing a cart in front of a horse, or bathing a dog with Chandan paste!

• ਹਉਮੈ ਖੋਇ ਕਰੇ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥ ਤਉ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਸੇਜੈ ਰਵੈ ਭਤਾਰੁ ॥: Houmai khoe kare seegaar. Tau kaaman sejai ravai bhataar: The one who eradicates egoism, and so adorns herself, realizes God (sggs 357).
• ਕਾਮਣਿ ਤਉ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ਕਰਿ ਜਾ ਪਹਿਲਾਂ ਕੰਤੁ ਮਨਾਇ ॥ ਮਤੁ ਸੇਜੈ ਕੰਤੁ ਨ ਆਵਈ ਏਵੈ ਬਿਰਥਾ ਜਾਇ ॥: Kaman tau seegaar kari jaa pehilaan kant manaae. Matu saejai kant na aavee eaevai birathhaa jaae: O bride, your decoration is fruitful only if it pleases the Lord. Otherwise, your Husband Lord will not come to your bed, and your ornaments will be useless (sggs 788).
• ਮਨੁ ਬੇਚੈ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਪਾਸਿ ॥ ਤਿਸੁ ਸੇਵਕ ਕੇ ਕਾਰਜ ਰਾਸਿ ॥: Mann baechai satgur kai paas. Tis sevak ke kaaraj raas: (One who) sell his mind (ਭਾਵ ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਹਵਾਲੇ ਕਰ ਦੇਂਦਾ ਹੈ-surrenders his ego-sense, Haumai, self-will or ਮਨ ਮਤ, etc.) to the Satigur (ਜਿਸ ਦੇ ਪਾਸ ਸਚ ਦਾ ਗਿਆਨ ਹੈ: knower of Truth...), that humble servant's work (the purpose of life, etc.) becomes fitting or complete (he becomes Gurmukh, Jeevamukat, Enlightened, Realized...). (sggs 286).

As indicated in the Gurbani, the ultimate purpose of this life is to enjoy Supreme Bliss (Spiritual Realization) in this life, "here" and "now". However, without adopting the Spiritual Shingaar recommended in the Divine Teachings, we cannot hope to enjoy the Sublime State of Soul-consciousness. The Gurbani confirms this as follows:

• ਮੇਰੈ ਕੰਤ ਨ ਭਾਵੈ ਚੋਲੜਾ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਕਿਉ ਧਨ ਸੇਜੈ ਜਾਏ ॥: Maerai kant na bhaavai cholarhaa piaarae kio dhan saejai jaaeae: My Husband God is not pleased by these clothes (false ego), O Beloved; how can the Soul-bride go to His bed? (sggs 722).
• ਸੇਜੈ ਰਮਤੁ ਨੈਨ ਨਹੀ ਪੇਖਉ ਇਹੁ ਦੁਖੁ ਕਾ ਸਉ ਕਹਉ ਰੇ ॥: Saejai ramat nain nahee paekho eihu dukh kaa so kaho rae: God rests in the bed of my mind, but I cannot see Him with my eyes. Unto whom should I tell my sufferings? (sggs 482).
• ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਪਿਰ ਕੀ ਸਾਰ ਨ ਜਾਣਹੀ ਕਿਆ ਕਰਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਸਦਾ ਜਲਦੀਆ ਫਿਰਹਿ ਸੇਜੈ ਰਵੈ ਨ ਭਤਾਰੁ ॥: Dohaaganee pir kee saar na jaanahee kiaa kari karahi seegaar. Anadin sadaa jaladeeaa firahi saejai ravai na bhataar: The forsaken soul-brides do not know the value of their Husband Lord; how can they decorate themselves? Night and day, they continually burn, and they do not enjoy the Bed of their Husband Lord (sggs 430).
• ਮਨਮੁਖ ਮੈਲੀ ਕਾਮਣੀ ਕੁਲਖਣੀ ਕੁਨਾਰਿ ॥ ਪਿਰੁ ਛੋਡਿਆ ਘਰਿ ਆਪਣਾ ਪਰ ਪੁਰਖੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਚੁਕਈ ਜਲਦੀ ਕਰੇ ਪੂਕਾਰ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਬਿਨੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਕੁਰੂਪਿ ਕੁਸੋਹਣੀ ਪਰਹਰਿ ਛੋਡੀ ਭਤਾਰਿ ॥੧॥: Manmukh mailee kaamnee kulakhanee kunaar. Pir shodiaa ghar aapnaa par purkhe naal piaar. Trisanaa kade n chukaee jaladee kare pookaar. Nanak bin naavai kuroop kusohanee parahar shodee bhataar ||1||: The self-willed Manmukh, is like a filthy, ill-natured, and an evil wife. (Who has) forsaken her Husband Lord and leaving her own home (i.e., the True Self), she gives her love to another (i.e., Maya). Her desires are never satisfied, and she burns and cries out in pain. O Nanak, without the Name, (the Manmukh being) is (like an) ugly and ungraceful (i.e., egoist) woman, who is (also) abandoned by her Husband ||1|| (sggs 89).
• ਸੋਇ ਰਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਖਬਰਿ ਨ ਜਾਨੀ ॥ ਭੋਰੁ ਭਇਆ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਪਛੁਤਾਨੀ ॥: Soi rahee prabh khabar na jaanee. Bhor bhaya bahuri pashutaanee: She remains asleep (state of illusion or ignorance), and does not attain understanding of God. The day dawns (i.e., death), and then, she regrets (sggs 389).
• ਭੋਲਾਵੜੈ ਭੁਲੀ ਭੁਲਿ ਭੁਲਿ ਪਛੋਤਾਣੀ ..: Bholaavarhae bhullee bhulli pashotaanee ..: Deluded by doubt, misled and confused, the Soul-bride later regrets and repents. Abandoning her Husband Lord, she sleeps (state of illusion or ignorance), and does not appreciate His Worth. Leaving her Husband Lord, she sleeps (in a state of illusion or ignorance), and is plundered by her faults and demerits. The night (i.e., life) is so painful for this bride. Lust, anger and egotism destroy her. She burns in egotism. When the Soul-swan flies away, by the God's Command, her dust mingles with dust. O Nanak, without the True Name, she is confused and deluded, and so she regrets and repents (sggs 1111).
• ਜਾਂ ਤਿਸੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਤਾਂ ਕਰੇ ਭੋਗੁ ॥: Jaa tis bhaavai taa kare bhog: My Husband Lord enjoys me only when I become pleasing to Him (sggs 1128).

In nutshell, to attain the state of a true Suhaagan one has to make his ten senses "widow"! How can one go about doing it? Mind is the "husband" and the ten senses are its "wives". To make all senses "widow", the mind must be "killed" (or "conquered")! This is why the Gurbani urges Spiritual aspirants to "struggle" with their mind, and keep it engaged in Bhagti so that the mind develops a taste for Spiritual life. If this advice of the scriptures is followed with unshakable determination and sincerity, in course of time the mind will lose interest in hedonistic pursuits of the senses and become oriented to the goal of Spiritual Realization. The mind stands "conquered" (killed or liberated) when it sees the Truth.

• ਦਸ ਨਾਰੀ ਮੈ ਕਰੀ ਦੁਹਾਗਨਿ ॥ ਗੁਰਿ ਕਹਿਆ ਏਹ ਰਸਹਿ ਬਿਖਾਗਨਿ ॥ ਇਨ ਸਨਬੰਧੀ ਰਸਾਤਲਿ ਜਾਇ ॥ ਹਮ ਗੁਰਿ ਰਾਖੇ ਹਰਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਇ ॥੫॥: Das naaree mai karee duhagan ...: I have made widows of the ten sensory organs (I don't engage in sense-gratification anymore). The Guru has told (i.e., the Gurbani's Giaan has revealed to me) that pleasures (sense-gratifications) are the poison-fire (that brings death to the spiritual life: ਆਤਮਕ ਮੌਤ). Those who associate with them fall into lower region (of consciousness, degradation or downfall of Spiritual Life - spiritual death, ਆਤਮਕ ਮੌਤ, ਅਧੋਗਤਿ...). By attuning me to the Lord, the Guru (i.e, the Gur-Giaan) has saved me (from the sense pleasrues) ||5|| (sggs 1347).
• ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ ॥: Manni jeetai jag jeet: If you conquer the mind, you conquer the material world (sggs 3).
• ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਕਮਲਾ ਰਗੜੈ ਲੁਝੈ ॥ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਇ ਤਿਸੁ ਸਭ ਕਿਛੁ ਸੁਝੈ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਨ ਸਿਉ ਲੁਝੈ ॥੪੬॥: Manmukh kamlaa ragarhai lujhai. Gurmukh hoyi tis sabh kish sujahi. Nanak Gurmukh mann siou lujhai ||46||: The Manmukh (material being) drives himself crazy struggling with worries and stubbornness. But those who become Gurmukh understand everything (ਆਤਮਕ ਜੀਵਨ ਦੇ ਹਰੇਕ ਭੇਤ ਨੂੰ). O Nanak, (the one who) becomes the Gurmukh struggles with your own mind (ਆਪਣੇ ਮਨ ਨਾਲ ਟਾਕਰਾ ਕਰਦਾ ਰਹਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ) ||46|| (sggs 1418).

Associating With Suhaagans

Bhagti can be developed through association with true Suhaagans, the knowers of Truth. The idea is that those who secure the taste and liking of Truth and Wisdom with faith, will gradually contract a liking to Spiritual Life. Step by step, their mind then will steep itself in Divine Love and Devotion. Accordingly, the Gurbani urges all sincere Spiritual seekers to keep the company of Suhaagans. This is the external Satsang, which ultimately leads one to the Eternal Internal Satsang.

• ਹਉ ਵਾਰਿਆ ਤਿਨ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਅੰਮਾਲੀ ਤਿਨ ਕੇ ਧੋਵਾ ਸਦ ਪਾਏ ॥: Hau vaariaa tin sohaaganee anmaalee tin kae dhovaa sad paaeae: I am a sacrifice to those happy Soul-brides; I wash their feet again and again i.e., to be in their company (sggs 564).
• ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਾਇ ਪੂਛਹੁ ਮੁਈਏ ਜਿਨੀ ਵਿਚਹੁ ਆਪੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥: Sohaaganee jaae pooshhahu mueeeae jinee vichahu aap gavaaeiaa: Go and ask the happy Soul-brides, O mortal bride, who have eradicated their self-conceit from Within (sggs 568).
• ਸਰਨਿ ਸੁਹਾਗਨਿ ਚਰਨ ਸੀਸੁ ਧਰਿ ॥: Sarani suhaagan charan sees dhar: I seek the Sanctuary of the happy Soul-brides; I place my head upon their feet (sggs 830).

The Gurmukhs always remain linked to their Mool within. Though they may lead life here as anyone else, but they exert their influence on all others who come in their contact, as humble and good. The chief characteristic of these beings is their magnanimity to overlook the faults of those who seek their company and help. Hence, those who wish to be in the company of such godly Beings should be ready to shed all their wicked thoughts and they will stand to gain.

When in the company of such Suhaagans, the Spiritual seekers are urged by the Gurbani to engage in Spiritual Inquiry (Shabad-Vichaar); for it helps clear doubts and confusions. For example, as indicated in the following verses, one may inquire into the nature of Truth and falsehood by asking: "By what virtuous qualities do you enjoy your Husband Lord?", "How did you come to meet God?", "What does the Husband Lord look like?", "How can Truth be known", and so on. Through such Inquiry coupled with diligent study of the scriptures and devotion to the Truth, the Truth is seen truly!

• ਜਾਇ ਪੁਛਹੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਤੁਸਾ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਆਇ ॥: Jaae pushahu sohaaganee tusaa kio kar miliaa prabh aae: I go and ask the happy Soul-brides, "How did you come to meet God?" (sggs 41).
• ਜਾਇ ਪੁਛਹੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਤੁਸੀ ...: Jaae pushahu sohaaganee tusee raaviaa kinee gunee: Go, and ask the Realized-beings, "By what Virtues have you Realized your God?" (sggs 17).
• ਨਾਨਕੁ ਕਹੈ ਸੁਣਿ ਬਿਨਉ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਮੂ ਦਸਿ ਡਿਖਾ ਪਿਰੁ ਕੇਹੀਆ ॥: Nanak kehai suni binau suhaagan moo dasi dikhaa pir kaeheeaa (sggs 703).
• ਹਉ ਜਾਇ ਪੁਛਾ ਸੋਹਾਗ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਤੁਸੀ ਕਿਉ ਪਿਰੁ ਪਾਇਅੜਾ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰਾ ॥: Hau jaae pushhaa sohaag suhaagani tusee kio pir paaeiarraa prabh maeraa: I go and ask the fortunate, happy Soul-bride, "How did you obtain Him - your Husband Lord, my God?" (sggs 561).
• ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਖੀ ਵਰ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਪਿਆਰੀ ਜਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਬਚਨੀ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨਿਆ ॥: The sweet soul-bride of the Lord whose mind is pleased by the Gur-Upadesh (Divine Teachings of the Gur-Shabad...), enjoys Peace (ਆਤਮਕ ਸੁਖ) in Sahaj (the Natural State of Being - ਅਡੋਲ ਅਵਸਥਾ) (sggs 1254).

— T. Singh
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