Egolessness = Haumai-lessness or the consciousness of no-Haumai
In reality, nobody cannot totally remove his or her egotism (Haumai). It defines our relationship with ourselves and our world, essentially providing meaning to the self to insure survival, success, protection, procreation etc.
However, what we are asked by the Gurbani is to annihilate the negative aspect or negative impact of the FAT or BLOATED egotism (Haumai– ਹਉਮੈ), which kills our True Nature. It feels real because we attach our ego to some perceived parameters in some form, such as power, status, beauty, youth, strength, wealth, education or knowledge, possessions, Jaat Paat etc. Prior to the movement of this false ego-sense (Haumai), the Gurbani tells us our mind is Jot Saroop.
- ਨਾਨਕ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਦੁਆਰਾ ਅਤਿ ਨੀਕਾ ਨਾਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਹੋਇ ਸੁ ਜਾਇ ॥ ਹਉਮੈ ਮਨੁ ਅਸਥੂਲੁ ਹੈ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਵਿਚੁ ਦੇ ਜਾਇ ॥: O Nanak! The gate to liberation (from Mayaic attachment or bondage, etc.) is very narrow, only the one who becomes very narrow (i.e., mind with thinned egotism) can pass through it. But if the mind has become fat or bloated with egotism, then how can it pass through this (tiny gate or door)? (sggs 509).
- ਕਬੀਰ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਦੁਆਰਾ ਸੰਕੁੜਾ ਰਾਈ ਦਸਵੈ ਭਾਇ ॥ ਮਨੁ ਤਉ ਮੈਗਲੁ ਹੋਇ ਰਹਾ ਨਿਕਸਿਆ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਇ ॥: O Kabeer! The gate of liberation is narrow, less than one-tenth of a mustard seed. (But bloated with egotism) the mind has become as big as an elephant; how can it pass through this gate? (sggs 509).
Negativity of the false ego-sense (Haumai) is ugly. Therefore, when the consciousness of false ego-sense or Haumai predominates in us, ugliness is also predominant in us. It kills our True Nature.
- ਮਨਮੁਖ ਮਰਹਿ ਅਹੰਕਾਰਿ ਮਰਣੁ ਵਿਗਾੜਿਆ ॥: Manmukhs die in egotism, even their death is ugly (painful) (sggs 86).
- ਪ੍ਰਥਮੇ ਤੇਰੀ ਨੀਕੀ ਜਾਤਿ ॥ ਦੁਤੀਆ ਤੇਰੀ ਮਨੀਐ ਪਾਂਤਿ ॥ ਤ੍ਰਿਤੀਆ ਤੇਰਾ ਸੁੰਦਰ ਥਾਨੁ ॥ ਬਿਗੜ ਰੂਪੁ ਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਅਭਿਮਾਨੁ ॥੧॥: First, your status (of human life – ਮਨੁੱਖਾ ਜਨਮ ਵਾਲਾ) is high. Second, your family is also considered. Third, your abode (body) is beautiful. But you remain ugly, (because you) have egotism in mind. ||1|| (sggs 374).
- ਮਨਹੁ ਜਿ ਅੰਧੇ ਕੂਪ ਕਹਿਆ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਨ ਜਾਣਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੀ ॥ ਮਨਿ ਅੰਧੈ ਊਂਧੈ ਕਵਲਿ ਦਿਸਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਖਰੇ ਕਰੂਪ ॥: Mortals whose minds are like dark well (i.e., extremely foolish) do not understand the purpose of life even when told. (Because) they are mentally blind (ignorant) and they have their heart lotus inverted (from Dharma, Virtues, Giaan or Wisdom, etc.), these people look extremely ugly (foolish, ignorant…). (sggs 1246).
- ਮਨਮੁਖੁ ਕਾਇਰੁ ਕਰੂਪੁ ਹੈ ਬਿਨੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਨਕੁ ਨਾਹਿ ॥: A Manmukhs is cowardly and ugly (foolish, ignorant…); without Naam, his is akin to a person whose nose is cut off in disgrace (he gets no respect anywhere…). (sggs 591).
Thus, in life, negativity of the false ego-sense (Haumai) turns everything good or beautiful into ugliness, for it is inherently ugly and unpleasant.
A person may be well educated, smooth talker, skillful, good looking, talented, majestic, etc., but there will be something ugly and repulsive about him if he has a grossly inflated egotism in him.
By its inherent nature, false ego-sense (Haumai) can only hurt and cause destruction or turn auspiciousness into inauspiciousness.
As we can see, there is a tremendous difference between the egotism (Haumai) and Pure Consciousness (i.e. the Manmukh-hood and the Gurmukh-hood).
Accordingly, the Gurbani time and again urges all of us to annihilate false ego-sense (Haumai) and become the Gurmukh.
- ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਵਿਚਹੁ ਹਉਮੈ ਜਾਇ ॥: By becoming the Gurmukh, egotism (Haumai) departs from within (the mind). (sggs 230).
- ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹਉਮੈ ਮਾਰੀਐ ਮਨੁ ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹੋਈ ॥: By becoming the Gurmukh, the egotism (Haume) is killed, and (consequently) the mind becomes immaculately Pure (sggs 424).
In nutshell, according to Gurmat (Wisdom, Giaan, Upadesh or Way of the SGGS) (1) the real Beauty is in one’s good thoughts, words, and actions (i.e., mind, Soch-ਸੋਚ), character, conduct or behavior, ਚੰਗਾ ਕਿਰਦਾਰ, etc. (2) NOT in one’s gross body-frame which is nothing but a bundle of bones, skin, blood, and filth.
- ਇਹੁ ਮਨੁ ਸੁੰਦਰਿ ਆਪਣਾ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਮਜੀਠੈ ਰੰਗਿ ਰੀ ॥: (Dye) this mind of yours with the Majeeth-like (strong, lasting) color of Hari Naam (Wisdom, Virtues, Truth…). (sggs 400).
- ਕਬੀਰ ਗਰਬੁ ਨ ਕੀਜੀਐ ਚਾਮ ਲਪੇਟੇ ਹਾਡ ॥: Kabeer, do not be so proud of your (body, after all it just a bundle of) bones wrapped up in skin. (sggs 1366).