Dowry and the Gurmat

A dowry (Daaj or Dahej – ਦਾਜ, ਦਹੇਜ …) is a form of payment made by the wife’s family to the husband’s family. It may include money, gifts, property, and other belongings that the wife brings to her husband as her marriage payment.

Although the dowry is not rooted solely to Indian culture, however, it is widely prevalent in Indian culture, including the Sikhs. It is a culturally sanctioned and socially structured practice – an evil practice.

Our Gurus recognized this evil centuries ago and repudiated it.

Uprooting of the evil (Bikaars, Manmukh or Mayaic conduct, blemishes or faults of the Haumai- or ego-mind …) from the society is the purpose of religions. If any religion is empty of this central purpose then that religion is hollow. Therefore, genuine religion is that which teaches living entities as to what will bring them Eternal Freedom from Bkaars (lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, and their countless variations such as evil-mindedness, etc.) …

In this way, a religion is not a declaration of noble objectives, it is an action to fulfill such objectives.

Here is the Gurbani on dowry:

  • ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਕਪੜੋ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਸਵਰੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੀ ਕਾਜੁ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਦਾਨੁ ਦਿਵਾਇਆ ॥ ਖੰਡਿ ਵਰਭੰਡਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਈ ਇਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਰਲੈ ਰਲਾਇਆ ॥ ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥੪॥: Hari prabhu mere Baabulaa Hari devahu daanu mai daajo … (sggs 78).

Thus, in the Gurmat, the Jeeva (individual being) is to ask for only the Divine Naam (Gur-Giaan, Aatam-Giaan, Shabad-Giaan …) as her wedding gift / dowry. Nothing else. As declared in the Gurbani, asking for or offering of any mundane dowry / gift other than the  Naam is a false show of once false ego-sense (Haumai) – Manmukhtaa, greed …


  1. Thank you for sharing this “TRUE STORY” here.
    One does not become a Sikh just by taking birth in a Sikh family. One becomes a Sikh by living the Gurbani – Gurmat, Gur-Giaan …

    (3) Who demands a dowry of RS 2.5 MILLION only after marriage?

    This is sheer greed. Accroding to the Gurbani, a greedy person cannot be a Sikh.
    •ਲੋਭੀ ਕਾ ਵੇਸਾਹੁ ਨ ਕੀਜੈ ਜੇ ਕਾ ਪਾਰਿ ਵਸਾਇ ॥: Lobhee kaa vesaahu na keejai je kaa paar vasaai: If you can avoid doing so, do not trust the greedy person (sggs 1417).
    •ਲੋਭ ਲਹਰਿ ਸਭੁ ਸੁਆਨੁ ਹਲਕੁ ਹੈ ਹਲਕਿਓ ਸਭਹਿ ਬਿਗਾਰੇ ॥: Lobh lahari sabh suaan halak hai halkio sabhai bigaare: The waves of greed are like mad dogs with rabies. Ttheir madness ruins all (those whom they bite – ਵੱਢ ਵੱਢ ਕੇ) (sggs 983).

  2. What should be punishment to a widow (KURUMNI) ,
    (1) Who makes KARA PRSHAD in SOYABEEN OIL ?
    (2) Who feels disturbed at 0600hrs ( since her waking time is 0930hrs )
    if her daughter in law gets up at 0600hrs?
    (3) Who demands a dowry of RS 2.5 MILLION only after marriage?
    (4) Who feels , being MUNDE WALA , & torture her daughter in law ?
    (5) Who conspires with her son to abuse the father in law , when
    his wife , likes to listen to GURBANI KEERTAN by BHAI HARABANS
    THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF MY DAUGHTER mrs ravjot kaur bhasin , who was rescued in a very bad shape last year on 25 NOV 2010 , TO INDORE by AIR……………………………LOVE

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