Dowry and the Gurmat

A dowry (Daaj or Dahej – ਦਾਜ, ਦਹੇਜ …) is a form of payment made by the wife’s family to the husband’s family. It may include money, gifts, property, and other belongings that the wife brings to her husband as her marriage payment.

Although the dowry is not rooted solely to Indian culture, however, it is widely prevalent in Indian culture, including the Sikhs. It is a culturally sanctioned and socially structured practice – an evil practice.

Our Gurus recognized this evil centuries ago and repudiated it.

Uprooting of the evil (Bikaars, Manmukh or Mayaic conduct, blemishes or faults of the Haumai- or ego-mind …) from the society is the purpose of religions. If any religion is empty of this central purpose then that religion is hollow. Therefore, genuine religion is that which teaches living entities as to what will bring them Eternal Freedom from Bkaars (lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, and their countless variations such as evil-mindedness, etc.) …

In this way, a religion is not a declaration of noble objectives, it is an action to fulfill such objectives.

Here is the Gurbani on dowry:

• ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਕਪੜੋ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਸਵਰੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੀ ਕਾਜੁ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਦਾਨੁ ਦਿਵਾਇਆ ॥ ਖੰਡਿ ਵਰਭੰਡਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਈ ਇਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਰਲੈ ਰਲਾਇਆ ॥ ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥੪॥: Hari prabhu mere Baabulaa Hari devahu daanu mai daajo … (sggs 78).

Thus, in the Gurmat, the Jeeva (individual being) is to ask for only the Divine Naam (Gur–Giaan, Aatam–Giaan, Shabad–Giaan …) as her wedding gift / dowry. Nothing else. As declared in the Gurbani, asking for or offering of any mundane dowry / gift other than the  Naam is a false show of once false ego-sense (Haumai) – Manmukhtaa, greed …