"ALL ARE CONCERNED ONLY WITH THEIR OWN HAPPINESS"

The Gurbani boldly declares that in this material world "all are concerned only with their own happiness". Here the Gurbani even dares using the word "all" — spouses, children, parents, brothers and sisters, friends, and so on — because here the Gurbani is revealing us the Supreme Truth. The Truth being that which is true in the past, present and future. Please note, here the Gurbani is neither discouraging us nor scaring us away from forming worldly relationships. Instead, the Gurbani is simply making us aware of the real nature of these worldly relationships so that we are not surprised or shocked later. Our deluded consciousness (false ego-sense or Haume), however, may not agree to this Truth (specially when intoxicated with youth), but that does not change the Truth. If one does not believe it now, then that person is certainly in for a huge surprise later!

Our mind or worldly consciousness (false ego-sense or Haume) is the problem. Those who see their Self in others or see others as the extensions of their own Soul (selflessly without any greed) are very "rare" in this world. Also, as the Gurbani says, those who by becoming the Gurmukhs (egoless or unselfish beings) understand this Truth are also very "rare" in this world.

• ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੯ ॥ ਜਗਤ ਮੈ ਝੂਠੀ ਦੇਖੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ॥ ਅਪਨੇ ਹੀ ਸੁਖ ਸਿਉ ਸਭ ਲਾਗੇ ਕਿਆ ਦਾਰਾ ਕਿਆ ਮੀਤ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ਮੇਰਉ ਮੇਰਉ ਸਭੈ ਕਹਤ ਹੈ ਹਿਤ ਸਿਉ ਬਾਧਿਓ ਚੀਤ ॥ ਅੰਤਿ ਕਾਲਿ ਸੰਗੀ ਨਹ ਕੋਊ ਇਹ ਅਚਰਜ ਹੈ ਰੀਤਿ ॥੧॥ ਮਨ ਮੂਰਖ ਅਜਹੂ ਨਹ ਸਮਝਤ ਸਿਖ ਦੈ ਹਾਰਿਓ ਨੀਤ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਭਉਜਲੁ ਪਾਰਿ ਪਰੈ ਜਉ ਗਾਵੈ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੇ ਗੀਤ ॥੨॥੩॥੬॥੩੮॥੪੭॥: Devgandhaaree Mahalaa 9 || Jagat mai jhoothee dekhee preet. Apane hee sukh siou sabh laage kiaa daaraa kiaa meet. ||1|| rehaao || Mero mero sabhai kahat hai hit siou baadhiou cheet. Ant kaal sangee nah kouoo ih acharaj hai reet ||1|| Mann moorakh ajahoo nah samajhat sikh dai haariou neet. Nanak bhoujal paar parai jo gaavai prabh kae geet ||2||3||6||38||47||: Devgandhaaree Mahalaa 9. In this world, I have seen love to be false. Whether they are spouses or friends, all are concerned only with their own happiness. ||1||Pause|| All say, ""Mine, mine"", and attach their consciousness to you with love. But at the very last moment, none will go along with you. How strange are the ways of the world! ||1|| The foolish mind has not yet reformed itself, although I have grown weary of continually instructing it. O Nanak, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean, singing the Songs of God ||2||3||6||38||47|| (sggs 536).
• ਦੁਨੀਆ ਕੇਰੀ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਝਿ ਮਰੰਨਿ ॥ ਜਮ ਪੁਰਿ ਬਧੇ ਮਾਰੀਅਹਿ ਵੇਲਾ ਨ ਲਾਹੰਨਿ ॥੨॥: Duneeaa keree dosatee manmukh dajhi maranni ...: Making worldly friendships (the love of Maya), the Manmukhs (self-willed ...) burn and die (destroy their spiritual life - ਆਤਮਕ ਜੀਵਨ ਸਾੜ ਕੇ ਸੁਆਹ ਕਰ ਲੈਂਦੇ ਹਨ). At the door of death, they suffer; this opportunity (human life) will never come again ||2|| (sggs 755).
• ਭਾਈ ਬੰਧੀ ਹੇਤੁ ਚੁਕਾਇਆ ॥: Bhaaee bandhee het chukaaiaa: There is no love, even among brothers and relatives (sggs 1410).
• ਮਿਥਨ ਮੋਹਰੀਆ ॥ ਅਨ ਕਉ ਮੇਰੀਆ ॥: Mithan mohareeaa. An ko mereeaa: False is the love of the many emotional attachments (sggs 537).
• ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਲੋਕ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਮਾਇਆ ਸਨਬੰਧੇਹੀ ॥ ਅੰਤ ਕੀ ਬਾਰ ਕੋ ਖਰਾ ਨ ਹੋਸੀ ਸਭ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਅਸਨੇਹੀ ॥: Putra kalatra lok grih banitaa Maya sanaba(n)dhehee. Ant kee baar ko kharaa na hosee sabh mithiaa asanehee: Children, spouses, men and women in one's household, are all bound by Maya. At the very last moment, none of them will stand by you; their love is totally false (sggs 609).
• ਦਾਰਾ ਮੀਤ ਪੂਤ ਸਨਬੰਧੀ ਸਗਰੇ ਧਨ ਸਿਉ ਲਾਗੇ ॥: Daaraa meet poot sanabandhee sagare dhann siou laage: Wives, friends, children and relatives - all are attached to wealth (sggs 633).
• ਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਸਬਦੁ ਕੋ ਵਿਰਲਾ ਬੂਝੈ ॥: Gur kaa sabad ko virlaa boojhai.Those who understand the Gur-Shabad are very rare (sggs 120).
• ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਵਿਰਲਾ ਬੂਝੈ ਕੋਈ ॥: gurmukh virlaa boojhai ko-ee: But how rare is the Gurmukh who understands this (sggs 831).
• Na vaa are patyuh kaamaaya patih priyo bhavatyaatmanastu kaamaaya pateeh priyobhavti ...: No worldly husband, wife, father, son, etc., can love one another for the sake of the other's happiness. Each one loves for the sake of his or her own happiness (Vedas).
  

For example, let us consider the relationship of husband and wife. Man emotionally loves his wife, and vice versa. According to the Gurbani, however, "The woman loves the man only for his wealth.— so long he is earning money." If for some reason, such as chronic disease or serious sickness or old age, the husband is unable to earn money, the wife's love and attitude will dramatically shift. The same is true for the husbands also. If someone does not have this experience yet, then wait until you are sick or old and unable to earn money anymore!

• ਸੋਰਠਿ ਮਹਲਾ ੯ ॥ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮ ਜਾਨਿ ਲੇਹੁ ਮਨ ਮਾਹੀ ॥ ਅਪਨੇ ਸੁਖ ਸਿਉ ਹੀ ਜਗੁ ਫਾਂਧਿਓ ਕੋ ਕਾਹੂ ਕੋ ਨਾਹੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ਸੁਖ ਮੈ ਆਨਿ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਮਿਲਿ ਬੈਠਤ ਰਹਤ ਚਹੂ ਦਿਸਿ ਘੇਰੈ ॥ ਬਿਪਤਿ ਪਰੀ ਸਭ ਹੀ ਸੰਗੁ ਛਾਡਿਤ ਕੋਊ ਨ ਆਵਤ ਨੇਰੈ ॥੧॥ ਘਰ ਕੀ ਨਾਰਿ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਹਿਤੁ ਜਾ ਸਿਉ ਸਦਾ ਰਹਤ ਸੰਗ ਲਾਗੀ ॥ ਜਬ ਹੀ ਹੰਸ ਤਜੀ ਇਹ ਕਾਂਇਆ ਪ੍ਰੇਤ ਪ੍ਰੇਤ ਕਰਿ ਭਾਗੀ ॥੨॥ ਇਹ ਬਿਧਿ ਕੋ ਬਿਉਹਾਰੁ ਬਨਿਓ ਹੈ ਜਾ ਸਿਉ ਨੇਹੁ ਲਗਾਇਓ ॥ ਅੰਤ ਬਾਰ ਨਾਨਕ ਬਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਜੀ ਕੋਊ ਕਾਮਿ ਨ ਆਇਓ ॥੩॥੧੨॥੧੩੯॥: Sorath Mahalla 9 || Pritam jaan lehu mann maahee ...: Sorath Mahalla 9. O dear friend, know this in your mind. The world is entangled in its own pleasures; no one is for anyone else. ||1||Pause|| In good times, many come and sit together, surrounding you on all four sides. But when hard times come, they all leave, and no one comes near you. ||1|| Your wife, whom you love so much, and who has remained ever attached to you, runs away crying, "Ghost! Ghost!", as soon as the swan-soul leaves this body. This is the way they act - those whom we love so much. At the very last moment, O Nanak, no one is any use at all, except the Dear Lord ||3||12||139|| (sggs 634).
• ਇਸਤਰੀ ਪੁਰਖੈ ਖਟਿਐ ਭਾਉ ॥: Isataree purakhai khattiai bhaaou: The woman loves the man only for his wealth — so long he is earning money (sggs 951).
• ਕੂੜੁ ਮੀਆ ਕੂੜੁ ਬੀਬੀ ਖਪਿ ਹੋਏ ਖਾਰੁ ॥: Koorr meeaa koorr beebee khap hoye khaar: False is the husband, false is the wife; they mourn and waste away (sggs 468).
• ਜਨਨਿ ਪਿਤਾ ਲੋਕ ਸੁਤ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਕੋਇ ਨ ਕਿਸ ਕੀ ਧਰਿਆ ॥: Janan pitaa lok sut banitaa koi na kis kee dhariaa: Mother, father, friends, children, and spouse - no one is the support of any other (sggs 495).
• ਪੁਤੁ ਕਲਤੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਹੇਤੁ ਹੈ ਅੰਤਿ ਬੇਲੀ ਕੋ ਨ ਸਖਾਈ ॥: Put kalat mohu het hai ant belee ko na sakhaaee: The mortal is caught in love and emotional attachment to children and spouse, but none of them will be his helper and support in the end (sggs 1414).
• ਦਾਰਾ ਮੀਤ ਪੂਤ ਰਥ ਸੰਪਤਿ ਧਨ ਪੂਰਨ ਸਭ ਮਹੀ ॥ ਅਵਰ ਸਗਲ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਏ ਜਾਨਉ ਭਜਨੁ ਰਾਮੁ ਕੋ ਸਹੀ ॥: Daaraa meet poot rathh sanpat dhann pooran sabh mahee. Avar sagal mithiaa ey jaano bhajan raam ko sahee: Wife, friends, children, carriages, property, all wealth, the entire world - know that all of these things are false. The Lord's meditation alone is true (sggs 631).
  

Children love their parents so long the parents keep "giving" and "giving" them. The day they stop "giving", it's a different ball game! Children occasionally come and see their parents if they hope to get some inheritance. Children do not know how to selflessly love and serve their parents because parents did not set example by selflessly loving and serving their own parents. As the Gurbani states, so called friends only yearn for foods and drinks (Khaanaa-Peenaa). The Gurbani also says the similar things about other material relationships as well.

• ਕਾਮਣਿ ਲੋੜੈ ਸੁਇਨਾ ਰੁਪਾ ਮਿਤ੍ਰ ਲੁੜੇਨਿ ਸੁ ਖਾਧਾਤਾ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਪਾਪ ਕਰੇ ਤਿਨ ਕਾਰਣਿ ਜਾਸੀ ਜਮਪੁਰਿ ਬਾਧਾਤਾ ॥ ੪॥੨॥੧੪॥: Kaaman lorrai suinaa rupaa mitra lurren su khaadhaataa. Nanak paap kare tin kaaran jaasee jamapur baadhhaataa ||4||2||14||: The wife yearns for gold and silver, and her friends yearn for good food. O Nanak, the man commits sins for their sake; consequently, he suffers (the torture or fear of ) death ||4||2||14|| (sggs155).
• ਮੇਰੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਕਿਆ ਕਰਹਿ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਸਨੇਹ ॥: Meree meree kiaa karahi putra kalatra saneh: You are in love with your children and your wife; why do you keep calling them your own? (sggs 1101).
• ਮਿਥਿਆ ਭਰਮਿ ਭਰਮਿ ਬਹੁ ਭ੍ਰਮਿਆ ਲੁਬਧੋ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਮੋਹ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ॥: Mithiaa bharam bharam bahu bhramiaa lubadho putra kalatra moh preet: In false doubt and superstition, people wander all around, lured by love and emotional attachment to their children and families (sggs 1295).
• ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਸੁਤ ਬੰਧਪਾ ਕੂੜੇ ਸਭੇ ਸਾਕ ॥: Maat pitaa sut bandhapaa koorre sabhe saak: Mother, father, children and relatives-all relations are false, i.e, impermanent (sggs 47).
• ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਦੇਖਿ ਸਮਗ੍ਰੀ ਇਸ ਹੀ ਮਹਿ ਉਰਝਾਇਓ ॥: Putra kalahra grih dekh samagree is hee mahi ourajhaaiou: Gazing upon your children, spouse, ousehold and paraphernalia, you are entangled in them (sggs 1017).

Why do we (the worldly people) fall victim to the selfish attachment in the first place? The Gurbani provides us with the answer — false ego-sense (Haume). In turn, the false ego-sense begets lust, anger, greed, emotional attachment, pride, enviousness, stubborn mindedness, doubts, and so on (i.e., all evil passions). In other words, on account of the relativist consciousness, when one false entity becomes emotionally attached to other false entities, the Truth is forgotten and the falsehood remains over. The material world is very selfish indeed. Whenever there is the opportunity to selflessly serve or sacrifice, our worldly mind immediately intervenes and questions "what's in it for me?". Only the Gurmukh (the spiritual or egoless being) is unselfish.

• ਕਾਮਿ ਕ੍ਰੋਧਿ ਅਹੰਕਾਰਿ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਕੂੜ ਕੁਟੰਬ ਸਿਉ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਕਰੇ ॥: Kaam krodh ahankaar viaape koorr kuttanb siou preet kare: Engrossed in lust, anger and pride, he falls in love with his false relatives (sggs 1014).
• ਮਿਥਿਆ ਭਰਮਿ ਭਰਮਿ ਬਹੁ ਭ੍ਰਮਿਆ ਲੁਬਧੋ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਮੋਹ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ॥: Mithiaa bharam bharam bahu bhramiaa lubadho putra kalatra moh preet: In false doubt, people wander all around, lured by love and emotional attachment to their children and families (sggs 1295).
• ਫਰੀਦਾ ਜਾ ਲਬੁ ਤਾ ਨੇਹੁ ਕਿਆ ਲਬੁ ਤ ਕੂੜਾ ਨੇਹੁ ॥: Fareedaa jaa lab taa nehu kiaa lab ta koorraa nehu: Fareed, when there is greed (i.e. all evil passions), what love can there be? When there is greed, love is false (sggs1378).
• ਝੂਠੈ ਕੀ ਰੇ ਝੂਠੁ ਪਰੀਤਿ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ॥: Jhoothai kee re jhooth pareet shuttakee re mann shuttakee re saakat sa(n)g na shhuttakee re: False is the love of the false one; break the ties, O my mind, and your ties shall be broken. Break your ties with the faithless cynic (sggs 535).
• ਕੂੜਿ ਕੂੜੈ ਨੇਹੁ ਲਗਾ ਵਿਸਰਿਆ ਕਰਤਾਰੁ ॥: Koorr koorrai nehu lagaa visariaa karataar: The false ones love falsehood, and forget their Creator (sggs 468).
• ਹਰਿਚੰਦਉਰੀ ਦੇਖਿ ਮੂਠਾ ਕੂੜੁ ਸੇਜਾ ਰਾਵਿਆ ॥: Harichandouree dekh moothaa koorr sejaa raaviaa: Beholding an illusion, you are deceived, and on your bed, you enjoy a false lover (sggs 460).
• ਇਹੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਮਾਇਆ ਤੇਰੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਚਾਲੈ ਝੂਠੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ ॥: Ihu mohu Maya terai sang na chaalai jhoothee preet lagaaee: This emotional attachment to Maya shall not go with you; it is false to fall in love with it (sggs 78).
• ਜਗ ਝੂਠੇ ਕਉ ਸਾਚੁ ਜਾਨਿ ਕੈ ਤਾ ਸਿਉ ਰੁਚ ਉਪਜਾਈ ॥: Jag jhoothe kou saach jaan kai taa siou ruch oupajaaee: I judge the false world to be true, and I have fallen in love with it (sggs 718).
• ਸੁਣਿ ਬਾਵਰੇ ਨੇਹੁ ਕੂੜਾ ਲਾਇਓ ਕੁਸੰਭ ਰੰਗਾਨਾ ॥: Sun baavare nehu koorraa laaiou kusanbh rangaanaa: Listen, madman: you have been trapped by false love, which is transitory, like the fading color of the safflower (sggs 777).
• ਤਜਿ ਕੂੜੁ ਕਪਟੁ ਸੁਭਾਉ ਦੂਜਾ ਚਾਕਰੀ ਲੋਕਾਣੀਆ ॥: Thaj koorr kapat subhaaou doojaa chaakaree lokaaneeaa: So renounce falsehood, fraud, love of duality and working for people (sggs 844).

So the Gurbani is telling us that there cannot be a real selfless Love unless we see the same One Supreme Self in all. In other words, it is up to us as to what type of relations we want to keep — devoid of selfishness or full of vanity. Therefore, our love and service to all needs to be selfless and Transcendent. Thus, the Gurbani teaches us Pure Love, free of greed and selfishness. Because selfishness or greed serves no end. Selfishness or greed based happiness does not last. Irrespective of wealth or sophisticated lifestyle, we can have a childlike simplicity about us, which is truly the key to much happiness in daily life. When our mind is simple (purified, conquered or annihilated of its false ego-sense), we easily recognize the Truth and we become truly good and serve all without any conflict as God's pure instrument. We practice our Sva-dharma. To care for all is to selflessly Love all. To selflessly Love all simply constitutes true understanding and the true vision. Ordinary human love is hollow as well as hypocrisy. Consequences of an ordinary or selfish love or attachment are also vividly described in the Gurbani so that we can be aware of our conduct during our temporary stay here in this material world.

• ਬਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਹੋਰ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਸਭ ਝੂਠੀ ਇਕ ਖਿਨ ਮਹਿ ਬਿਸਰਿ ਸਭ ਜਾਇ ॥: Bin har preet hor preet sabh jhoothee ik khin mahi bisar sabh jaai: Without the Lord's Love, every other love is false; in an instant, it is all forgotten (sggs 720).
• ਹੋਰੁ ਸਭ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਮਾਇਆ ਮੋਹੁ ਕਾਚਾ ॥: Horu sabh pareet Maya mohu kaachaa (sggs 164).
• ਹਉ ਹਉ ਕਰਤੀ ਜਗੁ ਫਿਰੀ ਨਾ ਧਨੁ ਸੰਪੈ ਨਾਲਿ ॥ ਅੰਧੀ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਚੇਤਈ ਸਭ ਬਾਧੀ ਜਮਕਾਲਿ ॥ ਸਤਗੁਰਿ ਮਿਲਿਐ ਧਨੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਾ ਰਿਦੈ ਸਮਾਲਿ ॥੩॥ : Hou hou karatee jag firee naa dhan sanpai naal. Andhee naam na chetayee sabh baadhee jamakaal. Satgur miliai dhan paaiaa har naamaa ridai samaal ||3||: People in egoism (lust, anger, greed, attachment, conceit etc.) wandered around the world, but their wealth and property will not go with them. The spiritually blind do not even think of the Divine Naam; they are all bound by the (fear of) death. Meeting the Satguru, the wealth (of Naam) is obtained, and then one contemplates the Name of the Lord in the heart ||3||: (sggs 32).

According to the Gurbani, the purpose of this life is to attain "transcend comprehension". Sooner we realize this goal, the better. The only other option we have is more repeated pain and suffering. Not a good option! To stay steer clear of the worldly bondage while living in it, the Gurbani's advise to us is to assimilate the following examples: (1) a bird flies in the sky all day, but it never leaves any marks or footprints behind; (2) a duck swims against the stream, but does not get wet; (3) a lotus flower grows in the slimy mud and water, but remains untouched by both; and (4) a fish remains and swims in the water, but its path through the water cannot be seen. This is the state of the Gurmukh or Divine Life. It's easier said than done. But considering all or options, we do not have a better choice.

During "Sidh Gosti" (also spelt Sidh Gost etc.), Sidhas posed many questions to Baabaa Nanak. Specifically, Baabaa Nanak was asked about his "way" and his life object. His response to them was (ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ਸਿਧ ਗੋਸਟਿ, 938-946):

• ਆਸਣਿ ਬੈਸਣਿ ਥਿਰੁ ਨਾਰਾਇਣੁ ਐਸੀ ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਪਾਏ ॥ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਬੂਝੈ ਆਪੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਸਚੇ ਸਚਿ ਸਮਾਏ ॥੩॥ : Aasan baisan thir naaraain aisee guramat paae || Gurmukh boojhai aap pashaanai sache sach samaaye ||: I sit in the posture of the eternal, imperishable Lord is my way. These are the Teachings I have received from the Guru-God — in other words, the attainment of such a transcend comprehension is my life object. By becoming the Gurmukh, I have come to understand and realize the Self; I have merged in the Truest of the True (sggs 938).
• ਜੈਸੇ ਜਲ ਮਹਿ ਕਮਲੁ ਨਿਰਾਲਮੁ ਮੁਰਗਾਈ ਨੈ ਸਾਣੇ ॥ ਸੁਰਤਿ ਸਬਦਿ ਭਵ ਸਾਗਰੁ ਤਰੀਐ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮੁ ਵਖਾਣੇ ॥ ਰਹਹਿ ਇਕਾਂਤਿ ਏਕੋ ਮਨਿ ਵਸਿਆ ਆਸਾ ਮਾਹਿ ਨਿਰਾਸੋ ॥ ਅਗਮੁ ਅਗੋਚਰੁ ਦੇਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਏ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਤਾ ਕਾ ਦਾਸੋ ॥੫॥: Jaise jal mahi ... (sggs 938).
• ਨਿਜ ਕਰਿ ਦੇਖਿਓ ਜਗਤੁ ਮੈ ਕੋ ਕਾਹੂ ਕੋ ਨਾਹਿ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਥਿਰੁ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਹੈ ਤਿਹ ਰਾਖੋ ਮਨ ਮਾਹਿ ॥੪੮॥: Nij kar dekhio jagat mai ko kaahoo ko naahi. Nanak thir hari bhagti hai tih raakho man maahi ||48||: I had looked upon the world as my own, but no one belongs to anyone else. O Nanak, only devotional worship of God is permanent; enshrine this in your mind ||48|| (sggs 1428).

— T. Singh
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