In narrow thinking, it's human instinct to badmouth others in order to oneself feel higher. Such falsehood "is plundering the world", says the Gurbani (Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS). The Gurbani's advice to all of us is to think it to be for your own best if anyone does the mean act of talking ill of you! How's so?

Slanderers help one become aware of his negativity and defilements — one's weaknesses become magnified when slandered. If taken constructively, once aware of his weaknesses, one can do something about them. Thus, in a way, the person who talks trash about someone helps him remove his demerits. However, if one reacts negatively to the act of being calumniated by someone, then obviously he has nothing to gain (because then he is no different than the slanderer). For one's negativity + other's negativity is not equal to positivism! In fact this is the formula for ruin. In short, it all depends on how we react to being tarnished by anyone. Certainly, as the Gurbani points out, we can make it to work to our advantage if we want. The key would be to use it to (1) see our shortcomings; and (2) then remove them without any prejudice or partiality. On the other hand, the slanderer, the wretched fool, bears total loss!

The author has heard this little story. Bhagat Kabeer Sahib had a jealous and a sharp-tongued neighbor, whose pastime was to calumniate Kabeer Sahib to smear his name in the community. When this fellow died, Kabeer's followers thought this news must make Kabeer Sahib happy. To the contrary, when Kabeer Sahib heard this news, he became sad. His devotees naturally inquired as to why he was sad instead of being glad now that the person who tarnished him all his life is finally dead. Kabeer Sahib said "the reason I feel sad is that, as that fellow is gone, now who will calumniate me and wash my sins off and take upon himself".

• inMdau inMdau mo kau logu inMdau ] inMdw jn kau KrI ipAwrI ] inMdw bwpu inMdw mhqwrI ]1] rhwau ] inMdw hoie q bYkuMiT jweIAY ] nwmu pdwrQu mnih bsweIAY ] irdY suD jau inMdw hoie ] hmry kpry inMdku Doie ]1] inMdw krY su hmrw mIqu ] inMdk mwih hmwrw cIqu ] inMdku so jo inMdw horY ] hmrw jIvnu inMdku lorY ]2] inMdw hmrI pRym ipAwru ] inMdw hmrw krY auDwru ] jn kbIr kau inMdw swru ] inMdku fUbw hm auqry pwir ]3]20]71]: Nindayu nindayu mo kaou logu nindayu...: Slander me, slander me — go ahead, people, slander me. Slander (being slandered) is pleasing to God's humble servant. Slander is my father, slander is my mother (as mother and father help their children in developing good qualities, similarly, slanderer helps one). If I am slandered, I go to Baikunth (God's Kingdom, Sachkhand, the state of Pure consciousness, the state of "no-pain" etc.), and the wealth of God's Name abides within my mind. If my heart is pure (by Naam-Simran and doing saintly deeds) and I am slandered, then the slanderer helps me cleanse my demerits. ||1|| (Thus) One who slanders me is my friend; in the slanderer is in my conscious. The slanderer is the one who prevents me from being slandered (by helping me become pure). The slanderer wishes me long life (eternal life). ||2|| I have love and affection for the slanderer. Slander is my salvation. Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer. The slanderer is drowned (because he never looks at his own demerits or negativitivities), while I am carried across (for the slanderer helps one become aware of one's negativity thus he helps one burn away his demerits) ||3||20||71|| (sggs 339).
• msit krau mUrKu jig khIAw ] AiDk bkau qyrI ilv rhIAw ] BUl cUk qyrY drbwir ] nwm ibnw kYsy Awcwr ]1] AYsy JUiT muTy sMswrw ] inMdku inMdY muJY ipAwrw ]1] rhwau ]ijsu inMdih soeI ibiD jwxY ]gur kY sbdy dir nIswxY: Masat karo moorakh jag kaheeaa ...: If I remain silent, the world calls me a fool. If I talk too much, I miss out on Your Love. My mistakes and faults will be judged in Your Court. Without the Naam, the Name of the Lord, how can I maintain good conduct? ||1|| Such is the falsehood which is plundering the world. The slanderer slanders me, but even so, I love him. ||Pause|| (Because) he alone knows the way, who has been slandered. Through the Gur-Shabad, he is approved at the God's Door (sggs 1330).

Ignorant mind is wasteful. According to the Gurbani's Divine diagnosis, our groping in Maya (illusion, ignorance etc.) is the reason many of us engage in such foolish act of blemishing and tainting others. As stated by the Gurbani, there are many such people wasting the precious human life doing the mean act of smearing and judging others. Instead of examining their own weaknesses and thus judging themselves, they waste their life looking at other people's "filth". Kabeer Sahib compares such foolish and unsaintly people with an empty pitcher that makes too much noise.

• khu kbIr CUCw Gtu bolY ]BirAw hoie su kbhu n folY: kahu kabeer shhooshhaa ghatt bolai. bhariaa hoe s kabahu n ddolai: Says Kabeer, the empty pitcher makes noise, but that which is full makes no sound (sggs 870).
• inMdku inMdw kir mlu DovY Ehu mlBKu mwieAwDwrI: Nindak nindaa kar mal dhovai oh malbhakh mayadhaaree: By slandering, the slanderer washes other's filth and he is the filth eater and a Maya worshipper (sggs 507).
• keI koit pr dUKnw krih ]keI koit mwieAw sRm mwih: Kayee kot par dookhnaa karahi. Kayee kot maya sram maahi: Many millions slander others. Many millions struggle in Maya (sggs 275).
• inMdw krdw pic muAw ivic dyhI BKY: Nindaa kardaa pach muaa vich dayhee bhakhai: Slandering others, he (sinner) wastes away and dies; within his body, he burns (sggs 315).

• inMdw kir kir bhu Bwru auTwvY ibnu mjUrI Bwru phucwvixAw: Nindaa kar kar bahu bhaar outhaavai bin majooree bhaar pahuchaavaniaa: By continually slandering others, they carry a terrible load, and they (Manmukhs: mentally blind self-willed) carry the loads of others for nothing (sggs 118).

• prwieAw iCdRü AtklY Awpxw AhMkwru vDwvY: Paraaiaa shidra atakalai aapanaa ahankaar vadhaavai: (those in love with Maya) complain about other peoples' faults, while their own self-conceit only increases (sggs 366).
  

In nutshell, the Gurbani would like us to "love" those too who malign us, for they do us a great favor! In other words, be "pleased" with them and think that "this, too, is for the best". Those who talk crap and disparage others, unaware of the consequences of their foolish acts, wash others' sins off and take upon themselves. It's pretty good deal! Isn't it? However, this deal will be fruitful only if we take it positively (in a Gurmukh way) — recognize any shortcomings and then sincerely eradicate them.

• gux sMgRhu ivchu Aaugux jwih: Gun sangrahu vichahu aougun jaahi: Gather merits, and let your demerits depart from within you (sggs 361).
• nwnk Avgx guxh smwxy AYsI gurmiq pweI: Nanak avagan gunah samaane aisee guramati paaee: O Nanak, demerits are dissolved by merits; such are the Guru's Teachings--Gurmati (sggs 1111).
• PrIdw jy qU Akil lqIPu kwly ilKu n lyK]AwpnVy igrIvwn mih isru nˆØIvW kir dyKu: Freedaa je tu akal lateef kaale likh na lekh. Aapanrhe gireevaan mahi sir neevaan kar vekh: Fareed, if you are so clever, then you should not do evil. Examine your own self instead (sggs 1378).
• bMdy Koju idl hr roj nw iPru pryswnI mwih: Bande khoj dil har roj firu presaanee maahi: O human being, search your own heart every day, and do not wander around in confusion (sggs 727).
  
• jy loku slwhy qw qyrI aupmw jy inMdY q Coif n jweI: Je lok salaahe taa teree oupamaa je nindai tz shod nza jaaee: (O Lord) If people praise me, the praise is Yours. Even if they slander me, I will not leave You (sggs 757).
• Bgiq n Cwfau rwm kI BwvY inMdau logu: Bhagti na cchaadayu ram kee bhaavai nindayu logu: I will not forsake God's devotion even if people slander me (sggs 1366).
• Coifhu inMdw qwiq prweI: Shodihu nindaa taat paraayee: Abandon slander and envy of others (sggs 1026).

— T. Singh