Suhaagan And Duhaagan

In the worldly sense, a woman is called Suhaagan if she is married and her worldly husband (Suhaag) is alive. To the contrary, a Duhaagan is a woman who has either become widow or has been discarded by her worldly husband. Thus, in mundane marriage (Mayaic relationships), it’s the woman who plays the part of either a Suhaagan or a Duhaagan, and it’s the man who plays the part of her husband (or Suhaag).

As revealed in the Gurbani, these perishable worldly entities and relations are not the Gurbani’s Suhaagans, Duhaagans, or Suhaag.

The Gurbani’s Suhaagans are pious Soul-brides in love with Truth (ਸਚ), who consider only their Mool (Source, Origin, Jot…) as their eternal Husband (Suhaag). Since this eternal Husband never dies, these Soul-brides never become widows (“ਰਾਂਡ”)! The Gurbani time and again indicates that without the True Husband, their is no True Marriage!

  • ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅੰਤਰਜਾਮੀ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਨ ਟਲਿਆ ॥੪॥੪॥੨॥੫॥੧੧॥: Varu paaiaa prabhu antarjaamee Nanak suhaagu n taliaa (sggs 249).
  • ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਸੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਭਰਤਾਰੁ ॥: Nanak gurmukhi sadaa suhaaganee jisu avinaasee purakhu bharataaru (sggs 786).
  • ਕਦੇ ਨ ਰਾਂਡ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਸਹਜ ਸਮਾਧੀ ॥: Kade na raand sadaa sohaagani antari sahaj samaadhee (sggs 583).
  • ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਨਾਰਿ ਸੁ ਸਰਬ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਰਾਂਡ ਨ ਮੈਲੈ ਵੇਸੇ ॥: Hari kee naari su sarab suhaagani raand na mailai vese (sggs 763).
  • ਨਾਨਕ ਸੁਖਿ ਸਵਨੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਸਹ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥੨॥: Nanak sukhi savanu sohaaganee jinh sah naali piaar (sggs 1280).

Thus, a true Suhaagan is none other than the person called “Gurmukh” in the Gurbani (i.e., the follower of the Teachings of the Gur-Shabad…). In other words, Suhaagans are the Soul-brides who have realized their Mool (Source, Origin, Jot...) within — they are Jeevan Mukta (living liberated) with their individual light completely merged into the Universal Light.

  • ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਪਰਗਟੁ ਹੋਇ ॥੧੯॥: Nanak te sohaaganee jinhaa gurmukhi paragatu hoi (sggs 1412).
  • ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਪਿਰੁ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਉਰ ਧਾਰਿ ॥: Gurmukhi sadaa sohaaganee piru raakhiaa ur dhhaari (sggs 31).
  • ਸਤੁ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਦਇਆ ਧਰਮੁ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ਬਨਾਵਉ ॥ ਸਫਲ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਅਪੁਨੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਵਉ ॥੪॥੧੫॥੪੫॥: Satu santokhu daiaa dharamu seegaaru banaavaou. Safal suhaagani Nanakaa apune prabh bhaavaou (sggs 812).

On the other hand, all conditioned souls in love with Jhooth (falsehood, Koorh, Maya, ਅਸੱਤ) are called Duhaagans in the Gurbani – Manmukhs. A Manmukh is an egoist being (Haumai-ridden) who does not understand the Naam, Shabad, Hukam, or the Gurbani. As a result, he (or she) does not know who he or she truly is! In this ignorance of their Mool within (Source, Origin, Jot…), wrong notions or concepts arise about oneself as one identities with one’s body-mind-intellect personality. As a consequent of this confusion and doubt, one takes oneself as “mortal”, “different from the Mool”, “helpless”, “miserable”, and “limited”. Thus, due to this fundamentally wrong self-identity, he creates separation between himself and his Mool.

  • ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਈਆ ਕੂੜੁ ਬੋਲਿ ਬਿਖੁ ਖਾਹਿ ॥: Dohaaganee bharami bhulaaeeaa koorhu boli bikhu khaahi (sggs 428).
  • ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਕਿਆ ਨੀਸਾਣੀਆ ॥ ਖਸਮਹੁ ਘੁਥੀਆ ਫਿਰਹਿ ਨਿਮਾਣੀਆ ॥ ਮੈਲੇ ਵੇਸ ਤਿਨਾ ਕਾਮਣੀ ਦੁਖੀ ਰੈਣਿ ਵਿਹਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥੭॥: Dohaaganee kiaa neesaaneeaa. Khasahu ghutheeaa firahi nimaaneaa. Maile ves kaamanee dukhee raini vihaai jeeou (sggs 72).
  • ਨਾਨਕ ਝੂਰਿ ਮਰਹਿ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਅਵਰੀ ਲਾਗਾ ਨੇਹੁ ॥੧॥: Nanank jhoori marahi dohaaganee jinh…(sggs 1280).

The Gurbani describes the state of such Duhaagans as follows: Separated from their Eternal Khasam (“ਖਸਮਹੁ ਘੁਥੀਆ”), they only love “another” (“ਅਵਰੀ ਲਾਗਾ ਨੇਹੁ”-Maya); they experience repeated suffering; they are deceived by the love of duality (Doojaa Bhaav); they love to perform religious rituals (mechanical reading of the Gurbani, external show of religion, use Dharma as business (ਧੰਧਾ,  Dhaarmic Sode-Baajee, etc.); in attachment they remain engrossed in love of the worldly objects (ਮਾਇਆ ਦੀ ਭੁੱਖ); their sense-bent mind has little taste for the Mool-realizing within; they fritter their lives away by engaging in activities unconducive to Mool-realization

  • ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਦਰਿ ਖੜੀਆ ਬਿਲਲਾਹਿ ॥: Manmukhi sadaa dohaaganee dari kharheeaa bilalaahi (sggs 428).
  • ਨਮੁਖੀਆ ਦੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਆਵਣ ਜਾਣਿ ਮੁਈਆਸੁ ॥: Manmukheeaa dohaaganee aavan jaani mueeaasu (sggs 1416).
  • ਮਨਮੁਖ ਕਰਮ ਕਮਾਵਣੇ ਜਿਉ ਦੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਤਨਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੁ ॥: Manmukh karam kamaavanae jiou dohaagani tani seegaaru (sggs 31).

The Gurbani wants us to become the Suhaagans – the Gurmukhs.

  • ਨਾਨਕ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਜਪਿ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਧਨੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਸਚੁ ਸਹੀ ॥੪॥੨॥: Nanak Raam Naamu japi gurmukhi dhanu suhaagani sachu sahee ||4||2||: O Nanak! By becoming the Gurmukh through understanding the Naam (ਸਚ ਦਾ ਗਿਆਨ, Aatam-Giaan, or Divinine Knowledge of the Truth understood from the Gurbani…); (that soul-bride) is accepted as the Suhaagan (of the Eternal Lord: ਸਦਾ-ਥਿਰ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਉਸ ਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗ ਬਣ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ) ||4||2|| (sggs 1254).
  • ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਖੀ ਵਰ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਪਿਆਰੀ ਜਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਬਚਨੀ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨਿਆ ॥: The sweet soul-bride of the Lord whose mind is pleased by the Gur-Upadesh (Divine Teachings of the Gur-Shabad…), enjoys Peace (ਆਤਮਕ ਸੁਖ) in Sahaj (the Natural State of Being – ਅਡੋਲ ਅਵਸਥਾ) (sggs 1254).
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5 Comments On This Post

  1. Karamjeet Singh

    Thanks Vir Ji, for sharing this thorughly educative and example-rich piece.

    You inadvertently clarified a doubt [and reaffirmed that I was right in my opinion about treating the mechanical reading of Gurbani (just so the nitnem ‘task’ is completed) as a ritual], when you state –

    “they love to perform religious rituals (mechanical reading of the Gurbani, external show of religion, use Dharma as business (ਧੰਧਾ, Dhaarmic Sode-Baajee, etc.)”

    This raises a related hard question though.

    A busy professional Amritdhari who spends a better part of the day executing official and personal (family related ) obligations and is thus hardly able to steel 4 to 5 hours of nightly sleep may find it difficult to go through completely reciting the mandated Nitnem banis in a proper manner (sit down and devote at least an hour or so). He has two options –

    Properly recite maybe just Japji Sahib and miss the rest of the banis OR
    Hurriedly complete all the Nitnem (thus sacrificing on accuracy, attention etc).

    I for one would ideally prefer the second option but almost always end up execising the first.

    Your personal take on this?

    Deep Regards

  2. Karamjeet Singh

    A correction in my previous comment –

    Please read –

    I for one would ideally prefer the second option but almost always end up execising the first.

    As

    I for one would ideally prefer the FIRST option but almost always end up execising the SECOND.

    Your personal take on this.

    Other readers are welcome to voice their opininins on this – of course if this is within the scope of the blog protocols.

    Deep Regards

    • Dear brother Karamjeet Singh Ji,
      Thank you for taking the time to share your Vichaar.

      I for one would ideally prefer the FIRST option but almost always end up execising the SECOND.
      Your personal take on this.

      Let’s find answer from the Gurbani.
      The Gurbani’s addict is:
      • ਚਿਤੁ ਜਿਨ ਕਾ ਹਿਰਿ ਲਇਆ ਮਾਇਆ ਬੋਲਨਿ ਪਏ ਰਵਾਣੀ ॥: Chit jin kaa hiri laiaa maya bolani paye ravaanee: Those whose consciousness has been lured by Maya keep reciting mechanically (ਫਰ ਫਰ, ਉਪਰੋਂ ਉਪਰੋਂ, ਤੇਜੀ ਨਾਲ…). (sggs 920).
      • ਪੜਿਐ ਨਾਹੀ ਭੇਦੁ ਬੁਝਿਐ ਪਾਵਣਾ ॥: Parriai naahee bhedu bujhiai paavanaa: Not by reading (books), but through Understanding, is the Mystery Realized. (sggs 148).
      • ਪਢੇ ਗੁਨੇ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਛੁ ਬਉਰੇ ਜਉ ਦਿਲ ਮਹਿ ਖਬਰਿ ਨ ਹੋਈ ॥੨॥: Padhe gune naahee kachhu baoure jaou dil mhi khabar na hoee (sggs 483).
      • ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਸੁਨਿ ਕਛੁ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਨ ਉਪਜਿਓ ਪਸੁ ਜਿਉ ਉਦਰੁ ਭਰਉ ॥: Gurmati suni kashu giaan n upjio pasu jiou udar bharaou (sggs 685).
      • ਮੂਰਖੁ ਸਬਦੁ ਨ ਚੀਨਈ ਸੂਝ ਬੂਝ ਨਹ ਕਾਇ ॥੫੩॥: Moorakh Sabad na cheenaee soojg boojh nah kaai (sggs 938).
      • ਬੂਝਹੁ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਸਬਦੁ ਬੀਚਾਰਿ ॥: Boojhahu giyani Shabad beechaari (sggs 840).
      • ਕਿਆ ਪੜੀਐ ਕਿਆ ਗੁਨੀਐ ॥ ਕਿਆ ਬੇਦ ਪੁਰਾਨਾਂ ਸੁਨੀਐ ॥ ਪੜੇ ਸੁਨੇ ਕਿਆ ਹੋਈ ॥ ਜਉ ਸਹਜ ਨ ਮਿਲਿਓ ਸੋਈ ॥੧॥: Kiaa parheeai kiaa guneeai …: (sggs 655).
      • ਅਕਲੀ ਪੜ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਕੈ ਬੁਝੀਐ ਅਕਲੀ ਕੀਚੈ ਦਾਨੁ ॥ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਆਖੈ ਰਾਹੁ ਏਹੁ ਹੋਰਿ ਗਲਾਂ ਸੈਤਾਨੁ ॥੧॥: Akalee parhih kai bujheeai… (sggs 1245).
      • ਹਰਿ ਜਪਿ ਪੜੀਐ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੁ ਵੀਚਾਰਿ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਜਪਿ ਪੜੀਐ ਹਉਮੈ ਮਾਰਿ ॥: Hari japi parheeai gur sabadu veechari… (sggs 424).
      • ਖੋਜ ਬੂਝਿ ਜਉ ਕਰੈ ਬੀਚਾਰਾ ॥ ਤਉ ਭਵਜਲ ਤਰਤ ਨ ਲਾਵੈ ਬਾਰਾ ॥੪੦॥: Khoj boojhi jaou kare beechaaraa. Taou bhavjal tarat n laavai baaraa ||40|| (sggs 342).

  3. Karamjeet Singh

    Thanks a lot Vir Jio.

    So although Gurbani’s verdict is disticnctly clear, most of us (and that includes me) still day in and day out proudly ‘perform’ the morning and the evening Nitnem, ignorant that they are doing something Gurbani so strongly forbids – resorting to rituals.

    Someone had once shared with me an answer by Bhai Vir Singh Ji to the question as to what was his morning Nitnem like – 3 banis, 5 banis, or even more? Bhai Vir Ji’s response was – “I get so engrossed into the depth of the Mool Mantar that I can’t get past it for hours”.

    Perhaps it will take me a lot more delving into Gurbani to be able to arrive at the level of understanding that personalities like Bhai Vir Singh or yourself have attained.

    Deep Regards.

    • …an answer by Bhai Vir Singh Ji to the question as to what was his morning Nitnem like – 3 banis, 5 banis, or even more? Bhai Vir Ji’s response was – “I get so engrossed into the depth of the Mool Mantar that I can’t get past it for hours”.

      Wow! Wow!! Wow!!!

      Thank you brother for sharing this.

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