Through the relationship we change. The Gurbani (Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS) reveals to us that friendship with the fool — the false, corrupt, Manmukh (self-willed, a person in worldly consciousness etc.), wicked, pompous (proud or arrogant), unrighteous, untruthful, greedy, unfaithful and so on — is founded on false foundation, therefore, lasts "for only a few short days" and "never works out right". The implication is that if we have friends with good qualities or virtues, our nature will change accordingly. However, on the other hand, if we make friends with someone who has bad qualities, he (or she) will be a bad influence on us for such "friendship leads to corruption". Accordingly, the Great Souls tell us that one can tell who you are by the company you keep! Thus goes the proverbial expression "you are the company you keep".

• mnmuK syqI dosqI QoViVAw idn cwir ]iesu prIqI qutdI ivlmu n hoveI iequ dosqI clin ivkwr ]ijnw AMdir scy kw Bau nwhI nwim n krih ipAwru ] nwnk iqn isau ikAw kIcY dosqI ij Awip Bulwey krqwir: Manmukh setee dosatee thorrarriaa din chaar. Is pareetee tuttadee vilam na hovee it dosatee chalan vikaar. Jinaa andar sache kaa bhaou naahee naam na karahi piaar. Nanak tin siou kiaa keechai dosatee ji aap bhulaaeaye karataar: Friendship with the Manmukhs lasts for only a few short days. This friendship is broken in an instant; this friendship leads to corruption. They (Manmukhs) do not fear (respect) the True Lord in their hearts, and they do not love the Naam, the Lord's Name; O Nanak, why become friends with these whom (as fruit of their own Karma) God Himself has forgotten (i.e. based on their own Karma they have separated themselves from God)? (sggs 587).
• nwil ikrwVw dosqI kUVY kUVI pwie: Naal kiraarraa dosatee koorrai koorree paai: False is friendship with the false and greedy. False is its foundation (sggs 1412).
• nwil ieAwxy dosqI kdy n AwvY rwis: Naal iaanae dosatee kade na aavai raas: Friendship with a fool never works out right (sggs 474).
• nwil ieAwxy dosqI vfwrU isau nyhu ]pwxI AMdir lIk ijau iqs dw Qwau n Qyhu: Naal iaanae dosatee vadaaroo sio nehu. Paanee andar leek jiou tis daa thaaou na thehu: Friendship with a fool, and love with a pompous person, are like the line drawn in water, which is without any reality or trace and mark (sggs 474).
• dustw nwil dosqI nwil sMqw vYru krMin ]Awip fuby kutMb isau sgly kul fobMin: dusataa naal dosatee naal santaa vair karann. Aap dubbe kuttanb siou sagalae kul dobann: Those who make friendships with the wicked, and harbor animosity to the Saints, will be drown (in the world-ocean) with their families, along with will be drowned their entire lineage (sggs 755).

Very stern warning indeed! The Gurbani is of the nature of Truth. However, our Haume (inflated ego) being the mother of falsehood does not like Truth. In the following verse, the Gurbani has used some more strong words, which will undoubted be detested by our Haume-mind and intellect. In this verse, those of us who make friends with the unrighteous are compared with thieves, adulterers, prostitutes and pimps. Because, often these characters are seen dining and wining with the unruly.

• corw jwrw rMfIAw kutxIAw dIbwxu ] vydInw kI dosqI vydInw kw Kwxu: Choraa jaaraa randeeaa kuttaneeaa deebaan. Vedeenaa kee dosatee vedeenaa kaa khaan: Thieves, adulterers, prostitutes and pimps, make friendships with the unrighteous, and eat with the unrighteous (sggs 790).

Everything we see is in this world is perishable, thus temporary. Then why do most of us become attached to the fleeting worldly objects in the first place? The Gurbani provides us with the sure answer — false ego-sense (Haume). It is this false ego-sense that begets negative tendencies such as lust, anger, greed, emotional attachment, pride, enviousness, stubborn mindedness, doubts, and so on (i.e., all evil passions and their numerous variations). The material consciousness is very selfish indeed. The Gurbani declares that in this material world "all are concerned only with their own happiness". Not only that, the Gurbani also questions us "With whom should I become friends, if all the world shall pass away?" Our worldly consciousness (false ego-sense or Haume), however, may not agree to this Truth (specially when one is intoxicated with the youth), but that does not change the Truth.

• kwim k®oiD AhMkwir ivAwpy kUV kutMb isau pRIiq kry: Kaam krodh ahankaar viaape koorr kuttanb siou preet kare: Engrossed in lust, anger and pride, he falls in love with his false relatives (sggs 1014).
• imiQAw Brim Brim bhu BRimAw lubDo puqR klqR moh pRIiq: Mithiaa bharam bharam bahu bhramiaa lubadho putra kalatra moh preet: In false doubt, people wander all around, lured by love and emotional attachment to their children and families (sggs 1295).
• JUTY kI ry JUTu prIiq CutkI ry mn CutkI ry swkq sMig n CutkI ry: Jhoothai kee re jhooth pareet shuttakee re mann shuttakee re saakat sang na shhuttakee re: False is the love of the false one; break the ties, O my mind, and your ties shall be broken. Break your ties with the faithless cynic (sggs 535).
• iksu nwil kIcY dosqI sBu jgu clxhwru: Kis naal keechai dosatee sabh jag chalanehaar: With whom should I become friends, if all the world shall pass away? (sggs 468).
• jgq mY JUTI dyKI pRIiq ]Apny hI suK isau sB lwgy ikAw dwrw ikAw mIq ]1] rhwau ]myrau myrau sBY khq hY ihq isau bwiDE cIq ]AMiq kwil sMgI nh koaU ieh Acrj hY rIiq ]1]mn mUrK AjhU nh smJq isK dY hwirE nIq ]nwnk Baujlu pwir prY jau gwvY pRB ky gIq: Jagat mai jhoothee dekhee preet. Apane hee sukh siou sabh laage kiaa daaraa kiaa meet. ||1|| rehaao || Mero mero sabhai kahat hai hit siou baadhiou cheet. Ant kaal sangee nah kouoo ih acharaj hai reet ||1|| Mann moorakh ajahoo nah samajhat sikh dai haariou neet. Nanak bhoujal paar parai jo gaavai prabh kae geet: In this world, I have seen love to be false. Whether they are spouses or friends, all are concerned only with their own happiness. ||1||Pause|| All say, ""Mine, mine"", and attach their consciousness to you with love. But at the very last moment, none will go along with you. How strange are the ways of the world! ||1|| The foolish mind has not yet reformed itself, although I have grown weary of continually instructing it. O Nanak, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean, singing the Songs of God (sggs 536).

Friendship with the fools or the false (Manmukhs) indicates one's level of consciousness to be Mayaic (deluded, ignorant etc.). Accordingly, the Gurbani declares that "Friendship with the Manmukhs is an alliance with Maya." As a result, there cannot be found any lasting peace or happiness in such friendship. If we believe to obtain peace in such false friendship, then it's only our illusion (Maya). For the Maya is deceptive. The Gurbani tells us that the life of the Manmukh is a total waste, so is the friendship with him.

• kUVI AwvY kUVI jwvY mwieAw kI inq johw: Koorree aavai koorree jaavai May kee nit johaa: False is his coming, and false is his going; he is continually on the lookout for Maya (sgga 960).
  
• mnmuKw kyrI dosqI mwieAw kw snbMDu: Manmukhaa keree dosatee Maya kaa sanbandh: Friendship with the Manmukhs is an alliance with Maya (sggs 959).
• dunIAw kyrI dosqI mnmuK diJ mrMin: Duneeaa keree dosatee manmukh dajh maran: Making worldly friendships, the Manmukhs burn and die (sggs 755).
• mnmuK sau kir dosqI suK ik puCih imq: Manmukh saou kar dosatee sukh ki pushhahi mit: If you make friends with the Manmukhs, O friend, who can you ask for peace? (sggs 1421).
• ivAwipAw durmiq kubuiD kumUVw min lwgw iqsu mohw ]TgY syqI Tgu ril AwieAw swQu iB ieko jyhw: Biyaapiyaa durmat kubudh kumooraa man laagaa tis moha. Thagai setee thag ral aayaa sath bhee iko jehaa: The evil fool is engrossed in evil-mindedness and false intellectualizations; his mind is attached to emotional attachment. Fool, the deceiver, abides with the five deceivers (lust, anger, greed, etc.); it is a gathering of like minds (sggs 960).

How does one become the false in the first place? "Forgetting the Naam, one becomes the most false of all the false", answers the Gurbani. The Gurbani also reveals to us specific signs of such a person.

• nwim ibswirAY sBu kUVo kUir: Naam visaariai sabh koorho koori: Forgetting the Naam, one becomes the most false of all the false (sggs 226).
• mUrKu hovY so suxY mUrK kw khxw ]mUrK ky ikAw lKx hY ikAw mUrK kw krxw ]mUrKu Ehu ij mugDu hY AhMkwry mrxw ]eyqu kmwxY sdw duKu duK hI mih rhxw: Moorakh hovai so sunai moorakh kaa kahanaa. Moorakh ke kiya lakhan hai kiyaa moorakh kaa karnaa. Moorakh oh jo mughad hai ahankaare marnaa. Et kamaanai sadaadukh dukh hee mahi rahnaa: Only a fool listens to the words of the fool. What are the signs of the fool? What does the fool do? A fool is stupid; he dies of false ego-sense. His actions always bring him pain; he lives in pain (sggs 953).

Then, what's the enduring friendship? If we want to move in life in Nanak-like consciousness, the Gurbani's instruction is to make friends with God. The goal of any relationship is to get to know the other better. But that’s a little tricky with God, since we can’t just go out for a cup of tea with Him and chat about every little thing (although He is always with us!). That’s why, to learn about Him and to know Him the best way, we are advised by the Gurbani to hang out with His Gurmukhs (Enlightened Beings) more often and become the Gurmukhs ourselves. God reveals Himself to the Gurmukhs. Also, the Gurbani urges to focus "consciousness on the Satguru".

• hir ieksY nwil mY dosqI hir ieksY nwil mY rMgu: Har eikasai naal mai dhosathee har eikasai naal mai rang: My friendship is with the One Lord alone; I am in love with the One Lord alone (sggs 958).
• gurmuK sau kir dosqI siqgur sau lwie icqu: Gurmukh so kar dosatee satgur saou laai chit: Make friends with the Gurmukhs, and focus your consciousness on the Satguru (sggs 1421).
• dIsY bRhmu gurmuiK scu lhIAY: Deesai braham gurmukh sach laheeai: Behold God; the Truth is revealed to the Gurmukh (sggs 353).

— T. Singh
www.gurbani.org

Updated on Friday, August 15, 2008 8:38 AM (PST)

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